#maybe brimstone billie

[primsycoldbottles]

ohhh finished naddpods eldermourne campaign finally.. WHAT A RUSH !!!! the finale was so insane i cried a little i will be Honest

[least-evil-resident]

medieval resident evil au where Umbrella is a cabal of dark mages trying to unlock the secrets to lichdom and go mad learning secrets from the undead eldritch horror outside of space and time

Chris and Jill are Knights in service of the Order of Stars, Leon is a beginning town guard, Ada is still a spy, honestly not much is different

If you give them ttrpg character sheets then it's even more fun

Would guns be wands, badass Crossbows, or straight up magic, or different based on the game? They could also just be guns but that wouldn't be nearly as interesting.

Consider pistol=dagger, rifle=longsword, shotgun=axe? Grenades could be hand bombs or magic.

Or pistol=hand crossbow, rifle=light crossbow, shotgun is either special bolt or a spell

Beneath the cobblestone streets of raccoon city, where gaslamps and auto-carriages ramble, is the lair of an evil sect of mages developing spells in secret to transform humans into beasts

Could be very bloodborne-esque. Lots of fire and brimstone. Maybe STARS are more like paladins, and the bsaa is an order of Templar type organization.

If we go dnd 5e rules, Chris is a fighter for sure, Jill is like a rogue I guess? Leon could go either. It could be fun to make Claire like a sorcerer since she gets the grenade launcher

In later games I think Chris definitely fits either paladin or barbarian, where Leon goes for more rogue/maybe ranger vibes. Jill seems more rogue+fighter but magic rogue is cool, maybe artificer. Claire would be sorcerer multiclass I think. Keep any mages low powered that way.

Sherry in 6 is maybe warlock or aasimar instead of Cleric? Blood hunter would be cool. Rebecca starts as a Cleric in 0 for sure. For a low magic setting where research and Rituals are matched by quick, small combat spells, how high of a DC do you think enemies would go?

Of course, in a classless system like gurps or all flesh, this would be a lot less restrictive. What would be the best system for resident evil normally? What would be the best one for its fantasy au?

Wesker very much fits the low-fantasy vampire theme. He has a reflection and can step in he sunlight but wow it hurts his eyes. Chris rolls a 20 to punch a boulder to death.

Leon has the lucky feat or 20 in dex or something to pull off his stunts. Chris also gets Charisma as a leader for the bsaa, so paladin is up his alley. Leon's secret service requires more rogue skills, but his time in operation javier trains his skills as a Ranger under Krauser maybe?

Jill and Claire both get grenade launchers, but Jill is more Rogue with her lockpicking so it makes sense for them to switch level ups later on as claire learns more professional skills for rogue training.

Barry definitely hits fighter/barbarian with his heavy weapons. Jake is maybe more monk/barbarian but with something like a dhampir ancestry feature? Sheva is maybe rogue/fighter or paladin fighter since thats when chris starts taking paladin levels. Billy has to be rogue/fighter I think, or maybe fighter/rogue, if he even gets a second class. It would almost make sense for him to be pure rogue and rebecca be cure cleric, since she retires to become a researcher and hes never heard from again. Helena is I guess just plain rogue, hinting at her role in 6, while Leon has his ranger levels. Piers is more rogue/Ranger (or fighter archer). A lot of the one off teammates just don't get super interesting classes as a consequence of their limited appearance. Carlos... Fighter? Just fighter is fine.

Now, the problem here is that each game starts off with little to no equipment for various reasons. In the case of our spell casters like claire and jill, we can't just de-level them between adventures in the resident evil campaign. But we could give them more limited access to spell components to match the resource management of survival horror.

This is more complicated outside of dnd 5e, where a game like All Flesh Must Be Eaten has very different spellcasting rules, so you'd need to stray from a low-magic to a straight low-fantasy setting. Alchemist tools and one use spell scrolls replace your grenades and spell casting maybe? That's the issue you'd run into with treating the setting as one campaign instead of each game as an individual campaign though.

The easiest one to do is RE8. It's literally the same. Ethan starts 7 as a human Commoner, takes levels in artificer as the game goes on, since that one introduced crafting, and comes back very subtly as a human variant with a few new levels in fighter from chris' tutoring. Hey that means we can give Hiesenburg an artificer friend! Class buddies ♡ hiesenburg is probably artificer/sorcerer, giving him charisma and intelligence. Dimetrescu is maybe barbarian if she even gets class levels.

I don't think we can justifiably say Rose is a variant human, I think she gets her own custom ancestry features for this. Sorcerer also feels better than Druid for her, but a couple levels in - you guessed it, rogue! Cover her gun and Stealth skills. You get a lot or rogues and fighters in low powered/low fantasy settings, who knew lol

[spaceofentropy]

WIP Wednesday? WIP Wednesday

(From a fic that has no title, so far, only a very useful label as "Magic AU". A Harringrove fic with magical powers, canon as just a vague guideline, and most of all...)

The car’s haunted.

It takes Billy a couple of days and two more destroyed tapes to reach that conclusion.

Maybe haunted is not the exact term for it, but there are a ton of things his mom never even vaguely talked about, so Billy makes do with the words he has, and this feels like a haunting.

Because the hostility, the not wanting to be driven or touched? That could be the car’s doing. Sometimes objects are like that, he has discovered: some are eager to be of use, others angry at the slightest human touch.

But Billy’s been experimenting and this car clearly has well defined musical tastes, which have to come from something more complex than just a piece of metal.

After he came back to the sad house on Cherry Lane with a new side mirror, he went to mount it properly while letting the radio play low to keep him company, while also silencing Neil and Susan’s voices ringing from inside the house. The volume kept on shifting.

The tuning kept on changing.

The knobs were moving on their own, Billy saw them with his own eyes!

That spells haunt in Billy’s opinion.

Whatever haunts the Camaro, it hates metal and rock, and loves Joni Mitchell. It thinks that the radio station that plays disco music 24/7 is only tolerable at barely audible volumes, but that Donna Summer needs to be played as loud as the human ear can survive. Not a fan of country. Switches station immediately if Billy tunes into one of those religious stations with preachers screaming about fire and brimstone or reading the Bible out loud. He can agree with at least a couple of those choices.

Two tapes. Billy sacrificed two of his admittedly shittiest tapes on the altar of finding out what the fuck is going on. In both cases, the radio allowed him two whole minutes, timed on his wrist watch, of music from the shittiest of Cliff’s shitty mixtapes, before it killed those tapes too.

One of Max’s tapes, the kind of cloying pop shit that would have gotten his ass ridiculed by his friends back home? Billy had to eject the tape after the third song, while the knob slowly turned the volume up without Billy’s input.

Haunted. Totally haunted.

[kaizenkhaos]

Road to Valentine’s Day (Demon and Priest AU)

Part 3

Flowers however was something the Demon was more familiar with, and after wrestling with two large bags (which somehow fit the plushies within them) down two escalators, he'd found the shop. A couple of displays were pitched diagonally outside the shop, as if funneling people in or like a massive arrowhead. It was these he looked at first, recognising the popular valentine  flower immediately as it was the centre piece of the right-hand display. He thought it was likely that they would be the ones he'd get, but first he wanted to investigate instead. See if there was in fact something else he could get Billy. A true surprise in the form of flowers which was something he assumed was appreciated by all humans. It hadn't said anything about not being on the page.

It was a little bit of struggle getting into the store with the bags, but he managed it. Being mindful of the stands within as he slowly navigated his way though. Trying to not bump into the stands or brush against the flowers and risk them shedding petals. Hell had its own unique flora; it wasn't all brimstone, fire and sulphur down there, but none of them were like anything he saw now. And they all smelt differently too. As with his homeland, he'd heard the flora here also has different meanings and meanings were something Demons took really seriously. So he'd have to be careful with his selection should he not go with the obvious. The last thing he wanted to do was bring home flowers which screamed I don't like you or something much worse. Or a flower that smelled unpleasant to humans, though why would humans sell them if that was the case? Maybe it was so they could send flowers to someone they hated or something. Humans could be unpleasant after all. Some areas of Hell was full of them but thankfully Steve didn't have to deal with them. And so far he'd not on Earth either, though his nice person streak wasn't guaranteed to last. Assholes lusted as well. 

Moving further through the shop, Steve pondered on some of the lovely smelling flowers he was. It was making him feel like he was in one of those fields that he'd seen in the library books at the church. That he was walking through rows and rows of flowers, smelling their wonder. Being at total peace. But none of them were the valentine flowers so maybe he should just stick to the safe option after all. There was one bouquet in particular that had stood out to him; one of the deepest red with black edges. The page had said twelve was a common number to get and there had been twelve of them. But that seemed like such a small number, especially given their size. So maybe the lady at the counter would have more elsewhere. Or maybe he should get that bouquet and then some of the others too. The lady had been watching him with interest after since he'd come in. She stood behind the counter with a gentle smile and warm eyes and seemed like the kind of human that would be happy to help anyone. So Steve politely waved at her and she came over. Realising it would be much easier for her to get to him than the other way round.

"Hello there, how can I help you?"

"Hi," Steve smiled, feeling a little shy as he noticed her spy the two large bags he was carrying close to him. "Do you have any more....of the flowers outside? The ones on the right?"

If she was confused by the fact he didn't know that they were roses, she didn't show it.

"Just the ones out the front I'm afraid. I'm due another shipment in next week," the lady replied, her smile still present as she guided him back out of the store and over to the small stall to the right.

Looking back over them, Steve started to count how many they were and then stopped. That would be more than enough and the range of colours would look so beautiful in Billy's apartment.

"How much would it be for all of them?"

At first the lady just blinked, as if she'd misunderstood what he'd said. But he looked at her smiling and reached for his wallet to get the card his parents had managed to get him. Finally a link to money in this world. He wanted to reassure her that he wasn't messing around; he was seriously wanting all of the flowers. It should be enough to show Billy how much he cared and he thought that they did smell nice.

"You would like all of them? The entire stall?"

"Yeah," the Demon confirmed, as the lady looked over the stall and then turned to him. Given all of his bags, there was no way Steve would be able to carry then all.

"I can have them delivered for you today. Are you okay to pay for them now?"

A nod and a smile and the lady told him to wait there so she could get the card machine. Yeah it was Valentine's Day but she didn't expect to sell them all to the same person. She'd just need to put an emergency order in so she had more to sell.

After giving the nice lady Billy's address, the Demon had headed to a couple more stores before the final one; the supermarket just outside of the mall. Another intimidating store, the Demon was nervous about going alone. The bags already took up a lot of the trolley and this had been one area of the page that hadn't been that helpful. There didn't seem to be a special Valentine's Day dish that humans did. Not like other days where ham or turkey seemed to be the meat of choice. It gave Steve a lot of options but that wasn't what he wanted. He did however know that Billy liked steak, and chicken and some other animals so off to the meat aisle he went. Licking his lips as he pondered on what to get. Then onto the fruit and vegetables aisle. Rinse and repeat. Same with the drinks. Everything seemed delicious and so in the trolley it went... Soon the trolley piled higher and higher and by the time he got to the counter, it looked like he was shopping for a large family for a week, not for an evening meal for two. His indecision on everything had left him choosing most of what he saw, some of which he didn't know how to cook, but he hoped he'd be able to do enough to begin with and then maybe Billy could help him with the rest. He knew how to use the heat monsters in the kitchen now so that was something and he knew what to do so he didn't burn the apartment down. There was also some picture books Steve could use and Billy's laptop with the moving picture pages, so he would have some guidance if needed. It should be fine. Worst case scenario, maybe they'd have to order in or something. Would seem a huge shame and waste though.

Finally emerging from the store, the bags strained in his hands as he waited for a wheely monster (taxi). A kind store assistant had pointed him in the direction of a phone when he saw how badly Steve was now struggling and realised that he didn't have a monster to take him home. His thanks had been full of gratitude and at least now he could give his hands a rest, putting them at his feet and then being helped by the human with the monster load all the bags into its back. Now it was time to head back home and get things ready for Billy's return.

[prettytm]

Give it to you strong, heavy metal I don't make a sound when I strike You better just

Bang. Bang.

His body jerks as the casings hit the floor, two bullets with his name on them, two bullets meant to kill him and for a while he's sure he's dead. He's even more sure of it when the whispers start and the fogs swallows him. He doesn't see no light, no promised brimstone and fire either, so he doesn't know where it is he goes.. All he knows is his last thought's as dark as his vision as it dims.. There's really nothing but black waiting at the end. When next he blinks open his eyes, it isn't Billy Boy with his frayed edges and missing memories but Billy Russo with his perfect smirk and his knife strapped to his arm. His mind racing, there's too many questions with very few answers. Where was he? Why was he here? There's not even a blurry memory of how he got here, he remembers little after the searing pain of the bullets piercing through his flesh, the air heavy with the scent of his own blood.. Frank looking down on him.. The welling emotions that he choked on just before. He had been so raw, so lost and confused.. And even then Frank had betrayed him. Just like he had betrayed him before.

Yeah. He doesn't know much about where he is or why he's there.. All he knows is he's hungry, a hunger that's as red as his rage and when his gaze focuses he notices there's movement ahead on him and something.. Someone? ..All but dares him to give chase. For once the urging is too strong to overcome. And maybe.. He doesn't want to fight anymore. Maybe he's finally too broken to be good.

Maybe it's time Jigsaw played Punisher.

Run For Your Life

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#184):

A good woman is hard to find is a suspenseful Irish revenge-thriller. A beautiful, widowed mother of two small kids is struggling with the recent murder of her husband. Her transformation from a down-trotted, submissive woman into a fierce protector of her children is dark and emotionally-rewarding. 7/10.

🍿

4 more with 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes:

🍿 "Oh, fuck!..." said the groom when he unveiled the scarf from his new wife's head, to discover that it's another woman.

Laapataa Ladies is a gentle Hindi drama about 2 newly-wed brides who get mixed up on a busy Indian train, who end up with the wrong grooms. It's nice to watch a warm-hearted story that takes place in very primitive villages, with simple people, and a Happy End. The strong feminist message is delivered subtly and without fanfare. [*Female Director*]

🍿 The Lavender Hill Mob is a classic Ealing Studio comedy about a bank heist. Alec Guinness is a meek bank clerk who decides to rob his own bank. The best part: At 3:33 Audrey Hepburn makes a 10 second cameo as 'Chiquita'!

Nearly 40 years later, the same director would make 'A fish called Wanda'.

🍿 Concrete Utopia is a new Korean survival thriller about xenophobia which got great reviews, but I didn't like it at all. A grim dystopian parable about life after a massive earthquake which destroyed all of Seoul, except of one apartment building that remained standing. Societal morals break down when life and death are at stake, and they cause everybody to become selfish and cliquish.

🍿 Similarly, the only reason I picked up the Korean thriller The Call is because of its score on 'Rotten Tomatoes'. But the Science Fiction element of time travel through a telephone which was connected to the future was so lame, I got the urge to click it off within 5 minutes. In the end I stayed for 30 minutes, but regretted it.

🍿

3 more by Luis Buñuel + 3 by Jean-Claude Carrière:

🍿 "Please, let your wife stay here for 2 extra minutes. I have to show her the Sursiks..." [But there were no 'Sursiks'...]

I've always loved Buñuel's last 3 films, maybe because they were so easy to watch. The fire and brimstone of his youth were distilled into accessible, vivid tableaux. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, or "Six friends and the impossible dinner" is just delightful: You nearly feel sorry for these poor 1-procenters, who can't find a decent place to dine in. Their illogical dreams dredge out their childhood traumas, and there's no explanations to anything that happens.

It was the New 4K trailer which brought me back. Re-watch ♻️. Always 10/10.

Surprise Wikipedia gift to myself: After the international success of the movie, Buñuel and his producer traveled to the US in late 1972 to promote the film. While in Los Angeles, Buñuel, Carrière and Silberman were invited to a lunch party at Buñuel's old friend George Cukor, and the other guests included Alfred Hitchcock, Billy Wilder, George Stevens, Rouben Mamoulian, John Ford, William Wyler, Robert Mulligan and Robert Wise. (Resulting in a famous photograph of the directors together, all but an ailing Ford).

🍿 "For health, nothing beats donkey milk!"...

First watch: Los Olvidados ('The young and the damned'), his harsh and depressing Neo-realist Mexican drama from 1950. Hooligans and street urchins live a marginal life damned by poverty and hopelessness. A group of unfortunate juvenile delinquents try, and fail, to survive. (I didn't know that Buñuel studied hypnotism in his youth, but it makes sense).

🍿 My second expressionist silent film by Jean Epstein, my first adaptation of an Edgar Allen Poe, The Fall of the House of Usher (1928). It was written by Buñuel, his second movie after 'Un Chein Andalou', but he left the production after arguing with Epstein. Roger Ebert adored this film, but for me it was too experimental.

🍿 So this is a good time to remember the incredible talents of prolific screenwriter Jean-Claude Carrière. He's credited on IMDb with 158 terrific films, including masterpieces like 'Taking off', 'The tin drum', 'The swimming pool', and even Jonathan Glazer's 'Birth'.

He started his co-operation with Buñuel on 'Diary of a chambermaid', and for 19 years had co-written all of his later movies (with the exception of 'Tristana').

But Carrière was also the co-director of 3 short films, together with Pierre Étaix, 'the French Buster Keaton'. Happy Anniversary is a masterful comedic gem, about a husband hurrying around Paris, buying gifts and flowers for his wife, and trying to make it on time for the special dinner she prepared. It won the 1963 Oscar for 'Best Short Subject'. It's very reminiscent of Jacques Tati, and especially of 'Trafic'. And no wonder: Tati employed young Carrière to write novels based on his films! 9/10.

🍿 In Rapture (1961) Pierre Étaix receives a break-up letter from his girlfriend and tries to write back a response. Pure silence Keaton.

🍿 In the mysterious The nail clippers, Michael Lonsdale and his wife arrive at a luxurious hotel, and while settling in their room,he starts losing things, first his nail clippers, and then everything else.

🍿

Amazing Belgian stop-motion animator Emma De Swaef X 2:

🍿 This Magnificent Cake! is an incredibly bizarre and unique piece of art. First of all, it's told with stop-motion animation using weird creatures made of felt. But the nightmares these disturbing characters share are absurd and very dark. Unexpectedly, it's a scathing indictment of colonialism, especially the Belgian adventures in Africa of the 19th century. Go in cold - You won't regret it. 9/10.

🍿 Her earlier story from 2013, Oh, Willy! was even stranger. The same type wooly characters, but in a nudist colony, dying and re-birthing, flying through space, and ending up breast-fed from a giant, hairy monster. Odd! [*Female Director*]

🍿

2 by Danielle Krudy and Bridget Savage Cole:

🍿 Blow the Man Down is a different type of a dark thriller. Two young sisters in a small fishing town in Maine chop a guy up and struggle to cover it up. It has feminine sensitivities, sea shanties, Margo Martindale as an ambiguous Madame of the local whorehouse, and June Squibb as one of the old ladies who work behind the scenes to keep the town sane. 7/10.

🍿 In their earlier OowieWanna, a 7 year old girl with a birthmark on her arm, is doing the laundry with her uncle. With Karen Black. [*Female Directors*]

🍿

4 more Israeli films:

🍿 White Eye - WOW! I never heard of, and didn't expect anything from this film, and I was shocked at how real and painful it quickly became! A simple heart-wrenching drama [shot in one continuing take] about a guy who finds a white bike that was stolen from him a month earlier. No spoilers: It must be experienced as is. Very Vittorio De Sica inspired. Best film of the week - 10/10!

This film was nominated for the Live short Oscar in 2021, but didn't win. It should have. (By now I've seen 4 of these 5 nominees, and they were all impressive: The Palestinian tragedy 'The present', also about a father and his daughter, 'The letter room' with Oscar Isaac, and the racial time-loop 'Two distant strangers'.)

🍿 Hole in the moon is a seminal Israeli film from 1965. It was the first avant-garde movie made in Hebrew and it ushered "The New Sensitivity", a cinematic movement of personal, artistic visions. Up to then, the Israeli film industry produced only compliant Zionist, nation-building products. But this script-less meandering film itself, a pastiche copy of French New Wave tricks and the worst from J-L Godard, was extremely pretentious, full of disjointed visuals, unconnected shots and indulgent nonsense. 2/10.

The director, Uri Zohar, was acclaimed like the Israeli Andy Warhol, and at the center of the Bohemian lifestyle in Tel-Aviv during the first decades of the state. Sadly, in the 70's he "found religion", turned his back on all liberal concepts, became a real-life ultra-orthodox Rabbi, fathered 7 children, and was entrenched in far-right Judaism up to his last days.

🍿 A Day in Degania (1937) is the first Israeli color film, a delightful documentary about life in Degania. Degania was the first Kibbutz, on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. It's a cheerful and innocent piece of early Zionist propaganda, when the term 'Colonists' to describe the farmers and settlers was not used in derogatory manner. It features a group of happy kindergarten kids, all running naked, and jumping into the water for a swim.

🍿 This is Sodom is a Biblical satire a-la-'Life of Brian' about Abraham's deal with a fast-talking God to save Lot and his wife. It was a huge commercial hit in 2010, being a typical low-brow 'Bourekas' movie, but mostly it was a terribly stupid farce. 1/10.

🍿

The Stranger Left No Card is a strange British little horror tale about an eccentric person who arrives in a small town. He is dressed in spats, top hat and old-fashioned clothing, and the townspeople consider him half-wit. My first film by Wendy Toye. This copy was especially crisp. 7/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

Frankenweenie (1984) was the 11th and last of Tim Burton shorts before he moved on to feature films with 'Pee-wee's Big Adventure' and 'Beetlejuice' and 'Edward Scissorhands'. It was the original live-action, black & white homage to the old Frankenstein saga, which he later re-made into a stop-motion animation. Strong sense of 'olde-tyme' Pasadena streets of the late 50's, with palm-trees and lovely bungalows, and idealized family trops. 100% small time Disney.

RIP, Shelley Duvall!

(Also, this...)

🍿

"The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true, right?"

Finding that clip, I realized that I've never seen any Danny Kaye movies. But Watching The Court Jester is perhaps enough Kaye. This 'Vessel with the pestle' is the best scene in a what is otherwise a lame spoof of the 1950's Faux Medieval Fascination. (They had a popular chain of fake restaurants, 'Medieval Times', where actor-knights would joust and sword-fight before your dinner. Also, Disney popularized the Arthur/Robin Hood concept.)

But the clip is also an obvious copy of Moses Supposes, and the milquetoast Kaye is a parody of Donald O'Connor - for kids. (It even works in German)...

🍿

The Brilliant Biograph, Earliest Moving Images of Europe 1897-1902, is a fascinating compilation of hundreds of newly-restored, small documentary clips from 125 years ago. (Screenshot Above). Before the first automobiles, when you had to use horses and trams, boats and bicycles if you had to move around. 8/10.

🍿

A bunch of shorts:

🍿 A portrait of Ga, my first by experimental Scottish poet Margaret Tait. A simple portrait of her mother. Just lovely. Charlotte Wells said that her 'Aftersun' was inspired by Tait's poetry. [*Female Director*]

🍿 And So We Put Goldfish in the Pool are four middle school Japanese girls who live in a dead-end small town and are afraid they will never be able to leave and live life. Shot in a vibrant, music video style, it captures their young angst as if they shot it themselves. 8/10.

🍿 Yes-People, an Icelandic film that was nominated for the 2021 Best Animated Short. The dialogue consisted of only one word...

🍿 In The Hat an exotic dancer remembers in graphic details how she was sexually-abused as a little girl by a man with a hat. Highly disturbing, it's animated in dark and powerful style. 8/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿 Tom Waits for no one is a creative rotoscoping of his burlesque riff 'The one that got away'. It won an Oscar for Scientific and Technical Achievement in 1979. (Via)

🍿 The Burden, a Swedish stop-animated musical, a sad existentialist dirge about animals night-working at a supermarket, boiler room and other dreary places. [*Female Director*]

🍿 Plucking Tangerines, (2021) a completely random pick about a young British woman remembering the time her girlfriend left her. I just didn't care for it. [*Female Director*]

🍿

Another one I couldn't finish: Michael Showalter's Hello, my name is Doris. I tried it only because this was the comedy he made just before the terrific 'The big Sick'. But old lady Sally Field daydreaming about having sex with a young, hot guy was lame and unfunny.

🍿

Bad Faith: Christian Nationalism's Unholy War on Democracy is the scariest horror film I've seen this year. A documentary about the hidden racism at the heart of "Christian Nationalism". (But there's no mention of Nancy Maclean's work). 7/10.

The filmmakers are going to find themselves in concentration camps within a couple of years. :(

🍿

Throw-back to the Adora Art project:  

Adora with Buñuel.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here).

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Lestat de Lioncourt - A playlist

So, guess who made a Lestat Playlist (like there aren't enough already) and decided to sit down for 4-6 hours to find some excerpt corresponding with each song? Featuring 80s and 90s music (clearly showing my age...) as well as many european songs and showtunes. Enjoy!

1. Cathedrals – Ramin Karimloo (Original by Jump, Little Children)

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is

And that was not a good year for me. I was wandering aimlessly. I was sick of things. I was furious with myself that the „beauty“ of life wasn't sustaining me, wasn't making my loneliness bearable.

I wanted to join them. Always do want to join them and never do. „Go home,“ he whispered. - Prince Lestat

(I actually feel like there are quotes that would correspond to this song in every one of the books and indeed have not yet found any other song that captures the general spirit of The Vampire Chronicles as perfectly.)

2. Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks

Well, I went today Maybe I will go again tomorrow Yeah yeah, well, the music there Well, it was hauntingly familiar Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me With the words from a poet and a voice from a choir And a melody, and nothing else mattered

He sat next to me, hugging me and asking me why I was crying, and though I couldn't tell him, I could see that he was overwhelmed that his music had produced this effect. There was no sarcasm or bitterness in him now. I think he carried me home that night. And the next morning I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window. When he stuck his head out, I said: „Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?“ - The Vampire Lestat

3. I ain't scared of lightning – Tom McRae

No I ain't scared of lightning And thunder never killed I was born in a summer storm and I live there still

I wasn't part of the world that cringed at such things. And with a smile, I realized that I was of that dark ilk that makes others cringe. Slowly and with great pleasure, I laughed.

And the labor that brought it forth was rapture such as I have never known. - The Vampire Lestat

4. Junge Roemer – Falco (Young Romans – Full Translation)

Don't ask for new old values See white light, see only feeling The night is ours till morning We play every game Don't ever let this journey end The doing comes only from the being Only from dimensions, that Are worth illusions and sensations Give me more, give me more, give me more...

... and again she laughed. „Ah, but we are splendid devils, aren't we?“ „Hunters of the Savage Garden,“ I said. „Then let's go into Paris,“ she said. - The Vampire Lestat

5. Running up that hill – Candy Says (Original by Kate Bush

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building,

„Not even with Nicolas?“ „No, god, no!“ I looked at her. She nodded slightly as if she approved of this answer. „Why not with Nicolas?“ she asked. I wanted this to stop. „Because he's young,“ I said, „and he has life before him.“ - The Vampire Lestat

6. Florence – Notre Dame de Paris (Full Translation)

The little things always triumph over the large And literature will kill architecture The school books will kill the cathedrals The Bible will kill the Church, and man will kill God This will kill that

„I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?“ „I can't tell you that,“ I said. „You have to study this age,“ Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. „You have to understand the age,“ she continued, „through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world.“ No answer from him. Flash of Nicki's ravaged flat with all its books on the floor. Western civilization in heaps. - The Vampire Lestat

7. Go your own way – Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world How can I when you won't take it from me

You can go your own way You can call it another lonely day

„Keep your promise,“ she said. And quite suddenly I knew this was our last moment. I knew it and I could do nothing to change it. „Gabrielle!“ I whispered. But she was already gone. - The Vampire Lestat

8. Désenchantée – Olympe (Original by Myléne Farmer - Full Translation)

If death is a mystery Life isn't exactly tender If heaven has a hell Then heaven can still wait for me Tell me how to handle this headwind Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing's fine

Laughter. That insane music. That din, that dissonance, that never ending shrill articulation of the meaninglessness... Am I awake? Am I asleep? I am sure of one thing. I am a monster. And because I lie in torment in the earth, certain human beings move on through the narrow pass of life unmolested. - The Vampire Lestat

9. A kind of magic – Queen

The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time It's a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity

And quite completely I understood that it was looking for me, this sound, it was seeking me out.

Blood like light itself, liquid fire.

It seemed beneath the roar of the flow he spoke. He said again: „Drink, my young one, my wounded one.“ I felt his heart swell, his body undulate, and we were sealed against each other. I think I heard myself say: „Marius.“ And he answered: „Yes.“ - The Vampire Lestat

10. La quête – Bruno Pelletier (French version of „The Impossible Dream“ from Man of La Mancha)

To try when your arms are too weary To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest To follow that star Ooh, no matter how hopeless No matter how far

I would remain in New Orleans if New Orleans could only manage to remain. Whatever I suffered should be lessened in this lawless place, whatever I craved should give me more pleasure once I had it in my grasp. And there were moments on that first night in this fetid little paradise when I prayed that in spite of all my secret power, I was somehow kin to every mortal man. - The Vampire Lestat

11. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you

Yet Louis gained a hold over me far more powerful than Nicolas had ever had. Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word. - The Vampire Lestat

12. Do I disappoint you – Rufus Wainwright

Do I disappoint you, in just being human? And not one of the elements that you can light your cigar on Why does it always have to be fire? Why does it always have to be brimstone?

„And suppose the vampire who made you knew nothing, and the vampire before him knew nothing, and so it goes back and back, nothing proceeding from nothing, until there is nothing! And we must live with the knowledge that there is no knowledge!“ „Yes!“ he cried out suddenly, his hands out, his voice tinged with something other than anger.

And then I sensed it. He was afraid. Lestat afraid. - Interview with the Vampire

13. Ordinary World – Duran Duran

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive

I do not remember when it became the twentieth century, only that everything was uglier and darker, and the beauty I'd known in the old eighteenth-century days seemed more than ever some kind of fanciful idea. - The Vampire Lestat

14. I'm still standing – Taron Egerton (Original by Elton John)

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well look at me, I'm coming back again

But after the third night up, I was roaring around New Orleans on a big black Harley-Davidson motorcycle making plenty of noise myself. […] I was the vampire Lestat again. I was back in action. New Orleans was once again my hunting ground. - The Vampire Lestat

15. Catch my fall – Billy Idol

I have the time so I will sing, yeah I'm just a boy but I will win, yeah Lost song of lovers, fellow travelers, yeah Leave me sad and hollow out of words

It could happen to you so think for yourself If I should stumble, catch my fall, yeah

I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or at least closed. I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. - The Queen of the Damned

16. I want it all – Queen

I'm a man with a one track mind So much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all

It is not enough any longer that my little rock band be successful. We must create a fame that will carry my name and my voice to the remotest parts of the world. - The Vampire Lestat

17. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams

Hell is gone and heaven's here There's nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream

I'm a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you

"I AM THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stepped way back from the microphone, and the sound was almost visible as it arched over the length of the oval theater, and the voice of the crowd rose even higher, louder, as if to devour the ringing sound. - The Vampire Lestat

18. La bien qui fait mal – Mozart l'Opera Rock (Full translation)

I can feel a violent urge I feel like I'm sliding towards the ground If I don't find out where this plague is coming from I adore having it under my skin Bewitched by mad ideas Suddenly all my cravings take off The desire becomes my prison Until I loose my mind

Yet I was in her arms in this chilling darkness, in the familiar scent of winter, and her blood was mine again, and it was enslaving me. When she drew away, I felt agony. - The Queen of the Damned

19. Tainted Love – Soft Cell

And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living, oh

„What do you think I am that I am so easily swayed? I was born a Queen. I have always ruled; even from the shrine I ruled." Her eyes were glazed suddenly. I heard the voices, a dull hum rising. "I ruled if only in legend; if only in the minds of those who came to me and paid me tribute. Princes who played music for me; who brought me offerings and prayers. What do you want of me now? That for you, I renounce my throne, my destiny!" What answer could I make? - The Queen of the Damned

20. Dancing in the Dark – Ruth Moody (Original by Bruce Springsteen)

They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby, I'm just about starvin' tonight I'm dyin' for some action I'm sick of sittin' 'round here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now, baby, gimme just one look

"I want you to put the book aside and come join us," he said. "You've been locked in here for over a month." "I go out now and then," I said. I liked looking at him, at the neon blue of his eyes.

"Do you love me now?" I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Want to go on a little adventure?" My heart was thudding suddenly. It would be so grand if- "Want to break the new rules?" "What in the world do you mean?" he whispered. - The Queen of the Damned

21. I want you – Savage Garden

Oh, I want you, I don't know if I need you But oh, I would die to find out

"You don't think you'll be back?" he asked. "I think you will, whether I call or not." Another little surprise. A little stab of humiliation. I smiled at him in spite of myself. He was a very interesting man. "You silver-tongued British bastard," I said. "How dare you say that to me with such condescension? Maybe I should kill you right now."

I thought of David Talbot's face, and that moment when he'd challenged me. Well, maybe he was right. I'd be back. Who said I couldn't come back and talk to him if I wanted to? - The Queen of the Damned

22. Lay your hands on me – Bon Jovi

I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

I sat down on the bed beside him. And then I bent down and kissed his face again gently, as I had in New Orleans, liking the feel of his roughly shaven beard, just as I liked that sort of thing when I was really Lestat and I would soon have that strong masculine blood inside. I moved closer to him, when suddenly he grasped my hand, and I felt him gently push me away. „Why, David?“ I asked him. He didn't answer. He lifted his right hand and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. „I don't know,“ he whispered. „I can't. I simply can't.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

23. 20th Century Boy – Placebo (Original by T-Rex)

I move like a cat, charge like a ram Sting like a bee, babe, I wanna be your man, hey!

He drew back with a speed that astonished me, cleaving to the wall. „Don't do this, Lestat.“ „Don't fight me, old friend. You waste your effort. You have a long night of discovery ahead.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

24. Way down we go – KALEO

Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go

„In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone.“ - Memnoch the Devil

25. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith

"Don't tell me," Gabrielle said slurringly, "that it's a matter of faith." She sneered and shook her head. "You come like doubting Thomas to thrust your bloody fangs in the very wound." "Oh, stop, please, I beg you," I whispered. I put up my hands. "Let me try, and let him hurt me, and then be satisfied, and turn away." - The Vampire Armand

26. Papillon – Editors

Darling Just don't put down your guns yet If there really was a God here He'd have raised a hand by now Now darling You're born, get old, then die here Well that's quite enough for me We'll find our own way home somehow

"And if I spill my blood down into this coffin now," Lestat asked her, "what do you think will come back? Do you think it will be our Louis that will rise in these burnt rags? What if it's not, chérie, what if it's some wounded revenant that we must destroy?" "Choose life, Lestat," she said. - Merrick

27. Sunday Light – Choir Boy

Why, why, why, are you silent on the ride home? I'd love to see the temple with you Heavenly and bright, golden angel twisted scathing You were one of us, one of us, one of us, you were one of us

"Then come, Little Brother, take me to where you want to talk," he said, and I felt the soft squeeze of his fingers on my arm. "Why are you so kind to me?" I asked him. "You're used to people being paid to do it, aren't you?" he asked. - Blackwood Farm

28. Für mich solls rote Rosen regnen – Hildegard Knef (It should rain red roses for me - Full translation)

It should rain red roses for me All wonders should encounter me The world should rearrange itself And keep its worries to itself

I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes- Wait a second. Do you know who I am? - Blood Canticle

29. Constant Craving – K. D. Lang

Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant craving Has always been

I was hunting, thirsting though I didn't need to drink, at the mercy of the craving, the deep agonizing lust for heated pumping human blood. - Prince Lestat

30. Kalte Sterne – Jan Ammann (Cold Stars from the musical Ludwig² - Full translation)

Get up, ride home, on your horse, through your land Across the morning with your reins trailing behind you Build a castle like a dream, build it with mighty hands And it shall be named „future“

Build a castle like a dream Up from the ashes and close to the heavens Build a castle like a dream And realise the future as king

If we wanted to survive, if we wanted to inherit the millenia […] then we had to meet the future with respect as well as courage and count fear and selfishness to be small things. - Prince Lestat and the realms of Atlantis

31. C'est une belle journée – Mylene Farmer (Full translation)

I'm going to bed To bite eternity With my mouth wide open It's a beautiful day

And I felt the cold numbing shell of alienation and despair which had imprisoned me all of my life among the Undead – I felt that shell cracked, broken, and dissolved utterly into infinitesimal fragments. - Blood Communion

32. Princes of the Universe – Queen

Fly the moon and reach for the stars With my sword and head held high Got to pass the test first time, yeah I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time

„I know that you meant full well to bring Rhoshamandes down, of course you did. But you had no way of knowing that you could. And no one would have predicted that you could. And with the willingness to die, you gave yourself over into his hands... and you disarmed him and destroyed him.“ – Blood Communion

And finally, because I can, a bonus track:

33. Primadonna – MARINA

And I'm sad to the core, core, core Every day is a chore, chore, chore When you give, I want more, more, more I wanna be adored

[yikesharringrove]

Holidays

I hc Steve as Jewish just fucking because.

So Billy, who’d rather not be trapped in his house all day slips away at the first chance he gets. He drives around a bit, but small town on Christmas NOTHING is open,,,, except of course the one Chinese restaurant in town. He walks in looking for some soup and expecting it to be empty, only to see none other than Steve Harrington by himself living out that classic Jewish tradition of going to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas.

Cut to them hanging out and having a heart to heart about life and Steve explaining various Jewish traditions, how his parents have stopped bothering with Hanukkah, maybe making an appearance for Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah but that’s about it anymore. The last of his birthdays they even bothered to remember was his Bar Mitzvah.

Billy (who I hc as v Catholic) telling him about his mother, a total hippy who believed Jesus would be open to all, that God loves everyone regardless of anything, and his dad, a classic case of fire and brimstone.

(I like the idea of his mom being one of those who picks and chooses and interprets everything in the spirit of love and acceptance, and his dad being one to take it all literal (it would also be an interesting place for his canon homophobia to come from) and I love the idea of gay billy battling between his faith and his sexuality and trying to find a way to bring the two together in some way). Plus Judaism is passed down through the mother, so them bonding over their mothers’ faith traditions and what they mean to them in different ways 🥺.

They bond over shitty parents and it’s all just soft.

I also want Billy teasing Steve

Billy: I mean, your people killed my boy Jesus

Steve: No we didn’t!

Steve: Jesus is OUR boy! He was a Jew! JESUS WAS A JEW!

Billy: Harrington I was k i d d i n g

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Not Sorry ~ Embry Call (Part 1)

A/n: Oop look I'm not dead HAHAHHAHA! Anyway.... here we go, my BABY!!! I tried to keep this one part but I mean look how long I got. It was a hard no lmao. It should only be two parts though so I'll finish that up and then be done with the mini series! Hope you enjoy all the loopty loops and around and back and forth as much as I did.

Word Count: 6900+

Pairings: Jacob x reader, Embry x reader, Embry x Quil (mentioned)

MASTERLIST

The two of us left the Swan house hand-in-hand. Jake looked at me, next to him, with a deep frown. "What's wrong?" He asked.

I looked over, my undeniably sour expression breaking as my eyes landed on him. A weak smile lifted onto my face, my mood lightening just by seeing my boyfriend's face. "I was just thinking maybe it isn't helping by having us both come in. I know it's helping to have me at school with her, and you hanging out afterward, but..." I shrugged. "Did you are the way she looked at us when you held my hand in the car?"

Jake looked at his feet, nodding a little. "I get it," he finally said. "But I don't want to mess up how we do things just to-" he cut off, his jaw working. Jake had had a brief crush on Bella, leading him to hang around the house a lot. That was how we got together. We'd seen each other plenty of times since I'd always been close with the Swans. Bella and I had played as kids, since my mom and Charlie were on really great terms. There were rumors she had feelings for Charlie at one point but that never panned out- obviously. Now, I just visited on weekends to check in so he didn't get too lonely. It had become habit after my mom died. My dad was absent minded, tending to work and otherwise ignore me. Charlie and I were similar in that way: alone, unless we had each other.

With Bella's presence came a greater need for me. I helped her settle and helped Charlie adapt to having to be a dad to a girl my age, instead of a friend like he was with me. Bella and I vibed the same way Charlie and I did; we formed a friendship pretty quickly. With Bella came Jake, and with Jake came feelings. He was a year younger than me, so I hadn't been too keen on it at first, but Bella met Edward and then began to grow distant and then Jake caught feelings for me too, so things kind of just took off.

Now Jake and I were together and Edward and Bella... weren't. He had moved and she was absolutely crushed. From what I knew he had cut off everything between them... honestly, I couldn't even begin to imagine her pain.

I looked at him, my lips pressed together. "I know how you feel, but we have to think about her feelings too." He glared at his feet. He hated Edward to this day, even more now that he had left Bella the way he had than he did before when the only bad thing he'd done was 'steal' Bella from him- something that had begun to wear off as Jake and I continued to be together. Maybe the two boys could have been friends if Edward hadn't hurt Bella like this. I pulled him to a stop, pushing away how Jacob's hate for Edward made me once again wonder about how he felt for me and Bella - he had said a few times that he was completely over her but sometimes I still wondered - to focus on the discussion at hand. "I can't imagine how terrible it is to lose someone that you-" I looked into his eyes and felt suddenly breathless. "That you love." His lips twitched and I wasn't sure if it was a smile or a frown that he'd almost manifested, which made me nervous. "I just mean, I can't imagine how she feels. We have to be sensitive and even though I hate censoring our relationship a bit as much as you do, I also want her to be able to escape thoughts and memories and she can't do that when faced with a couple, because any couple and all loving relationships remind her of him."

He sighed through his nose and then moved close, his nose brushing mine. My eyes fluttered close and my body relaxed, sagging a little.

"Okay." As he spoke, I could hear his smile. He paused a second and then kissed me and suddenly I was smiling too. We were next to his truck, out of sight of the house, and I was thankful that neither of us had to stop this moment to spare Bella. When he pulled away, I was left breathless. He leaned close, his lips brushing the skin on my ear as he whispered as quietly as he could, "Do you love me?"

I never went so rigid so fast while being in as relaxed a state as I was in so soon before. The ease I'd had just a split second before disappeared as if I didn't know what relaxation was and my eyes shot wide. "I- well- I- um- I-"

He chuckled softly and I stopped breathing altogether. I had leaned away when he'd spoken so he moved back to where he was before, pressing against me. His fingers brushed against and fidgeted with mine comfortingly. "I love you too." He left a soft kiss against my neck and I shivered as he leaned away, looking at me through his eyelashes even though he was just a bit taller than me. He reached out, touching my cheek. "And I promise I'll never never do to you what he did to her. I'm here, forever and always."

A grin broke out on my face and I burst into giggles. My hands reached up, fingers curling around the back of his neck. I pulled him into a hug and he was laughing too, tilting as I leaned too much. We scrambled to catch ourselves, neither of us strong enough to catch ourselves as we went careening as my excitement threw off our balance. I took a breath in and he smelled amazing. He was warm and his smile light up the whole world and warmed my insides. It was the happiest I'd ever been and when I went home that night I went to sleep sure it wouldn't be the last time I was that happy, in Jacob's arms. For just a second I was sure of eternity.

-

Much later, Bella got a lot better and there was no pressure to censor our relationship in front of her. A few times she would put our hands together, winking and laughing and teasing and nudging us and talking about how cute we were and how nice it was to see us so happy. I think she lived a little through us as much as she used our love and success to distract her from her own pain so she could separate herself from it and grow without it there to hurt her. Jake became her best friend and I became her sister, is talking about things she couldn't with Jake, as well as me being over more often since I was closer and also had a closer relationship with Charlie, directly. She gave each of us the "I'll kill you if you hurt them" talk and joked about chaperoning dates if we started acting like we were being "naughty". She basically became my mom more than anything and I jokingly called her that constantly. That's how the parent-besties joke was born. Since Jake and Bella were best friends the same way Charlie and I were best friends, and now there was a running joke that Bella was my mom, Jake and I started calling Bella and Charlie the parent-besties. Every time Jake or I struggled with homework or school in general or family or friends or Jake brought up Sam - the leader of a gang on the Reservation that set Jake and Quil (his friend) on edge - or Embry - Quil's ex-best friend and therefore also someone who used to be a close friend of Jake's but who ditched them when he joined Sam's gang - or any other stresses came up, Charlie and Bella would team up to figure out what was wrong if we wouldn't talk about it, or figure out how to distract or cheer us up. They'd first bump and jokingly say, "Activate parent friend powers" and if Jake or I were around we would laugh and they would grin and wiggle their eyebrows.

It was like a little family. Jake would come over with Billy every Sunday night and Jake would pick me up on the way so the three of us would jam out and crack jokes and Billy and I would team up to tease Jake as we drove over, and then when we got to the house, Jake and Bella would impersonate Billy and Charlie poorly while Billy and I jokingly argued who was Billy's truest best friend and Jake and I would flirt over the table and Charlie and Bella would pretend to gag and roll their eyes and groan and call us gross. The more we hung out the closer I got not only to them but the people they cared about. I met Quil and the two boys began to teach me how to work on cars and related such things. Quil absolutely loved to give me piggyback rides and wrestle me while Jake usually took the lead on teaching me mechanics. For the first time in my entire high school career I actually held a lasting conversation with Bella's friends, Eric, Angela, Mike, and Jessica. I was the weirdo in town who talked to no one and always sat alone in every class and worked alone in every group activity. At this points even teachers had given up- at least the Cullens even had each other. Before Bella, I had no one. Now I had so many people it was nearly overwhelming.

Just as my life was reaching perfection, it came crashing down in a rain of fire and brimstone.

It started, weirdly enough, with something good. One day I hadn't talked to Jake in a full week so when he popped up at my house because I'd been telling him how much I was struggling with homework - I was too proud to go to Bella for help - so he'd found some free time and had gotten permission to come and help me. I'd run at him, completely meaning to tackle him. Except, he caught me instead and fully lifted me off my feet, spinning me around before kissing me hard. It was a wonderful feeling that had my head spinning and left me a little nauseous... but also, it shouldn't have happened. Jake wasn't weak but last I checked he was barely strong enough to catch Bella when she lost her footing, or push me off when I was pinning him to the ground so he couldn't move at all. After that, I noticed that not only was he a lot stronger than I remembered, he was also growing insanely taller and hotter. Like, temporaries wise. We couldn't lay under blankets anymore because it came hard to breathe very quickly.

It all climaxed when Bella set up a group hang out to go to horror movie. Jessica, Eric, and then Angela all bailed so it was just me, Bella, Jake, and Mike. With me and Jake joking and flirting especially hard, Bella was left to third wheel... with Mike, who was only too enthusiastic to sweep her off her feet and win her heart, just like he'd been trying to do since the first day she'd come to town.

At the end of what was supposed to be a group hang out, Bella was obviously at her wit's end. I decided to turn to Mike, glaring at him, hands on my waist. "Can you lay off?" He looked at me, raising an eyebrow. It was during the movie and he'd tried to distract himself from the movie by flirting with Bella but it wasn't working. I'd finally lost my patience.

"What's wrong? Jealous?" He joked.

I heard Jake next to me make a noise that raised the hair on the back of my neck. He growled. I shook my head to clear it and then turned my frustration to him. I stood, motioning Bella to take my place. She was only too eager to do so, leaving me between Mike and Bella... which meant that I was next to Mike instead of next to Jake, who was separated from me by Bella.

By the end of the movie, Jake was obviously as much losing his ability to keep his mouth shut as I was. Mike had long gone quiet but before that he'd tried to make jokes and talk to me and I was completely tired of him. Bella reaches over and took my hand, squeezing it in both apology and thanks. I shot a small smile at her. As Mike ran off to blow chunks after the movie ended, Jake pulled me against him. He leaned against the wall, his hands on my stomach and my back against his chest, his chin on top of my head. Bella talked to me as he stayed quiet, letting us girls go back and forth as we waited for Mike.

When he came out he tried to play cool, putting an arm around Bella after eyeing up me and Jake. "Let's head out." Bella moved away from Mike so his arm dropped and I smirked. As if to run it in, Jake moved next to me so he could put his arm across my choosers as Mike had just tried with Bella. I didn't stop him. That seemed to piss Mike off. "You're really attached at the hip, aren't you?" the blonde, pale with sickness boy shot off.

"I obviously don't mind my boyfriend being on me," I replied smoothly. "Unlike other people who might be averted to having a boy on them in this sort if they're not either close or dating." Jake snorted in my ear.

Mike made a mistake and caught Jake's shoulder, turning him so they were facing each other and pulling us apart. We had started walking past him so I kept going while Mike pulled Jake back. Immediately Jake smacked Mike's hands away from him, flaring with anger. I turned to see Bella pushing between them, trying to calm down a much taller, stronger, angrier Jake and a cowardly Mike who was trying to backpeddle and failing. "Don't touch me," Jake finalized, pointing at the other boy. "And for that matter, stop touching Bella and stop looking at my girlfriend. Stop being an ass, stop talking in general." He turned abruptly and pushed past all of us. I turned to go after him, catching his hand, but he yanked himself away. It wasn't hard as I let go of him almost immediately- his skin was burning. It had beeb warm all night but now it almost hurt to touch. I wat he's him go, speechless and unsure.

Mike, apparently still having not learned his lesson, moved next to me. "Seems like an ass to me."

Bella had to drive because Mike was half blinded by a black eye. Charlie picked us up from there. Mike's last stab was the last thing said of the night.

-

It had been weeks. No calls, no texts, no visiting. Nothing. He was completely ignoring me and I couldn't understand why. The few times Bella or I had gotten an answer from the Black house was when Billy picked up. He gave us some lame excuse about how he was super sick and couldn't get out of bed and couldn't have visitors and that was that.

Bella was pacing in front of my house, having dragged me outside to demand we go visit Jake and get some answers. She was trying to get me to go with her, but I wasn't confrontational. On top of my already timid, anxious nature, I hadn't been getting good sleep, unable to get my brain to quiet or my heart to calm or my tears to stop as I quietly sobbed in bed. As the days passed I began to think more and more that this was a Bella-Edward situation and the day that Jacob had first told me he loved me and the promise that had followed it echoed on repeat in my mind.

He promised he wouldn't leave me. Ditch me. He promised, forever and always.

Bella wasn't having it. "Come on I'll drive!"

Neither was I though. "If he's really that sick then whatever, he doesn't want guests. Okay. If he just doesn't want me around..." I shrugged. "It's been WEEKS, Bells. The Jake we know and love would have shot me a call at this point even if it would have killed him. After how he brushed me off, I just feel like something more is wrong than just some fever." I sighed heavily. "This is a choice. I can FEEL IT. He's actively making a choice to cut me off. If I'm wrong then he'll come to me eventually. If not..." I looked helplessly at my hands. "I can't force someone to be in my life." I looked back at her.

She must have seen herself in my face because she lost all the color in her face and stumbled away. I went to love to her but she held a hand up. I froze as she took a second to catch her breath and think. "Okay," she said finally. She looked at me and nodded. "I can respect that. But I'm going to his house, without or with you."

Another sigh slipped from me. "I can't stop you," I said as I shrugged, my hands moving through the air, palms facing the sky. We exchanged one more look before she left too and I went back upstairs. Bella would figure it out and bring me news. It would all be sorted when she came back; I had nothing to worry about. I fell into a restful sleep with ease for the first time in weeks, and it was absolute bliss.

-

"WHAT?" I shot to my feet, eyes wide and mouth open.

Bella couldn't meet my eyes. "He's... gay." She looked awkward and I knew she wasn't telling me the truth, which hurt even more.

"Bella, you're a terrible liar," I accused.

She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "He's probably going to break up with you. I can't tell you why, it's too hard to explain. But I think you two should talk in person and sort it all out." She looked so tired and wrung out that I didn't even argue. I just silently nodded. She stood and we both went out to her car. She drive us to Jake's and then had to kick me out of the car for me to head to the house. He could break up with me, she'd said. He might want to. Why? What had I done wrong? Was he in love with someone else? Had he simply just fallen out of love with me? WAS he gay? Was there some huge secret he was keeping from me that lead him to feel guilty and pull away from me? Oh my god had he cheated on me? Not even with someone he loved but simply someone that was around more than I was. Someone prettier or smarter or more like him than I was. Or maybe he was secretly a terrible person and the person I'd fallen in love wasn't real. Maybe this was all an act. A game. My brain was racing with too many improbable and dramatic probabilities to make sense of anything so I just forced myself to push it all down and knock on the door before I could overthink it and stop myself.

Jake answered the door. I gasped at him. He was in a tank top and short, not things I'd ever seen him wear before. His hair was shorn completely short where it had been SO much longer before, and- was that a tattoo on his arm.

Our eyes locked and he sucked in a breath-

And then let it out, his shoulders sagging as if... disappointed. My eyebrows came together. "Jake?" I choked out, the word dry and quiet. It was almost a croak. It sounded like my mouth was completely dry, even as I choked on words and tears that were only too ready to fall. I knew what was coming by the look on his face before he even opened his mouth. I knew him too well.

"Look, I-"

"Stop," I managed to get out. I looked at my feet, my hands shaking in my peripheral vision and my eyes watering. "Don't-" I tried again. "Don't continue." I swallowed, trying to pull myself together and catch my breath. Suddenly I went incredibly numb and I managed to look at him with what I assume to be dead eyes and an empty smile. He looked sick to his stomach at my expression. "Bella warmed me that when she brought me here you might break up with me." I tried to make my smile bigger but my lip started quivering so I stopped. "I  understand. Things change. People drift apart. Forever never lasts as long as it's supposed to." Jake mad es look like he'd been run over by a semi truck. i knew without even asking that he was remembering his promise too. His lips parted but no noise came out. He just stared at me, lost and heartbroken, and I couldn't understand why because HE was doing this so obviously he wanted to, right? "you-" I cut off, my eyes finally focusing. I finally saw HIM for the first time. Something clicked in my head and my numbness wore off to a subtle emptiness as my smile swapped out for a frown, my eyebrows coming together in irritation as I tilted my head. "You joined Sam's gang, didn't you?"

Finally he found his voice. "Sam's not at all like I thought he was. He's actually helping me, so much. I owe him a lot. He's-"

"Oh my god," I whispered.

I stumbled back and he scrambled forward to try and catch me but I yanked away from him, out of his reach. Behind me the truck door slammed, signaling Bella coming to the house to help. "Are you okay?" She began.

Spinning to face her, I shoved a finger in her face accusingly. "YOU!" I screamed. She jerked back, eyes wide as she stood, unsure. "You knew! 'It's complicated'? God, Bella! You know how scared of Sam Jake is!" I looked back at him, my lip curling into a snarl. "Was." I looked back at her. "What and now you're pro-sam too?"

"He's-" Bella began.

"STUFF IT!" I screamed. "I don't know why you even brought me here! What, to see Jacob break up with me in person? So he could break his promise officially? So he could pull a full Edward and twist the knife already in my gut?" At the mention of the Cullen's name she visibly flinched away from me. I was too angry to care. "FINE!" I screamed hysterically. "Break up with me! Don't even bother trying to keep being my friend Bella. I bet you realize you still have feelings for her after all, huh? All those promises..." I laughed sickly and the two most important people in my life looked at me like I was the villain. As if I had hurt them. "Fuck you." I turned away and began walking.

"Oh come on, where are you going?" Bella called.

"You can't walk home from here!" Jacob added.

"FUCK! YOU!" I screamed over my shoulder. "I'm no longer your concern!" I turned around so I was looking at them, walking backwards. "So have you ditched Quil too then?" I looked directly at Jake, who flinched as horribly as Bella just had. I shook my head, turning away and taking off running. I knew where I was going now.

I hoped to high heaven Quil was home and didn't mind if I spent the night, because there really was no way I was getting back tonight.

-

Long story, he didn't. We ended up spending every second we could together, watching movies and wrestling and exchanging puns and pick up lines and never talking about Jake and Bella, and Embry, who Quil brought up the first night to let me know how he felt. Apparently Quil and Embry had been a lot closer than I'd originally realized before everything had been messed up when Embry had joined Sam's pack. With us only having each other, we cling to each other. We almost finally healed and settled with our friendship when suddenly Quil was gone too.

We worked all that time to get me a license and then work and put our brains together to fix up the very old car I'd found for cheap as best we could without Jake. I drove by one day to show off the finished and completed product... only to have Quil answer the door with short hair, the same tattoo on his shoulder that Jake had when he'd answered the door to me what seemed FOREVER ago, in a muscle shirt and cut off shorts. Neither of us even had to say anything. He just looked at me with the most apologetic look I'd ever seen and I turned away, getting in my car and going home. Halfway I pulled to the side of the road to break down. I'd begun to get over Jake, but I was in no way over how much I missed Bella, and the huge hole in my life that had been created by losing Charlie was simply too much to bear.

I honestly should have seen it coming. It had been the same thing that I'd seen happen to Ake and heard had also happened to Embry. He grew warmer, taller, stronger. Then, our f nowhere, he broke fever and got insanely sick so that he couldn't talk to me for four whole days. Finally he called to let me know he was better and that I could come over. The call was brief and I'd blindly, desperately hoped with all my soul that he just wanted to see me after all that time. We'd grown to be really great friends, going on adventures and creating a completely different friendship than either of us had had before with anyone. We were just so chill. No promises or forever imagining, but an unspoken understanding that we both hated the same people and enjoyed almost all of the same things. We had inside jokes and had made memories hiking and swimming and doing homework and preparing each other for upcoming tests and in general being each other's wingmen, more joking about setting each other up than anything since we both knew neither of us were ready or interested in doing that quite yet.

Now he was gone. Like Jake. Like Bella. like Charlie. Like Edward and Embry. Like my mom. Like my dad sink after. I was completely alone, empty, with a distant father and more often an empty house than anything.

I'd gotten obsessed with mechanics, picking it up as a hobby to distract myself from my emotions. I hadn't really gotten into much else and the physical tiring the fixing things up required of me as I hefted and cranked and pulled and jimmied and all such related physically demanding things tired me out and kept my brain busy. With my only talent having been given to me by Jake, I was left to blast music to tune out any memory or thought the activity could dig up. If I wasn't snagging old bikes and cars and such things and then re-selling them in much better condition then I was cleaning and babysitting. I was saving money up to move from Forks. I was planning on getting emancipated from my dad and moving away from the small town that had become my own personal Hell. I'd go somewhere else. Meet other people. Make my own family and my own home, since the paces and people I'd come across this far had failed me.

A year passed. The Cullens moved back and I saw Edward walking around the halls with Bella, which made me feel even more empty. Bella had absolutely everything and I was left completely alone. I'd finally let go of Jacob enough that he didn't haunt me. I could think and remember him and only a dull ache would resound in my chest. The release of coming to terms with being alone and getting over Jacob had allowed me to do something I hadn't done in a long time but had come to absolutely adore doing while I was dating Jake and was friends with Quil.

On Saturday's, I went to La Push. I had te same car I'd bought during my friendship with Quil, driving myself to the beach a few hours before sunset. I pulled off my pants, exposing the bottom half of the swim suit I had on underneath. I put my feet in the water and wiggles my toes in the sand. I tilted my head back so I was looking at the sky and then closed my eyes, letting my body slowly unwind. With my the shirt I always wore when I went to the beach, I walked further into the water a while after letting myself come undone and then reopening my eyes. After I was waist deep in the fairly cold water, I fully dove in. It burned and woke me up. Though it wasn't cold season quite yet, it also wasn't quite warm enough to be swimming.

When I hit the surface, I gasped and groaned, a shiver running through my body. I shook my head, blinking my eyes rapidly. A wild, loud laugh erupted from me before I began to swim to where I could touch and then back out far too much go be considered safe before I swam back to where I could touch. Back and forth, back and forth, until my body was numb enough not to feel the cold anymore. Then I closed my eyes and lay on my back, breathing evenly and focusing on staying afloat. Every thirty second or so - I kept track in my head, sometimes waiting until thirty-five or even fourty seconds if I felt really confident - I checked to make sure I wasn't too far away from shore that I couldn't get back again without tiring out and being pulled out to sea again. When I did get on the edge of too far, I pushed forward and swam back.

Halfway there was when I heard it. A huge splash that made me look over. I realized I must be pretty far away from my car, even if I wasn't far from shore. I was by the huge cliffs on the edge of La Push, close enough to make out people at the top jumping, and people at the bottom who, presumably, had already jumped. Close enough, I realized with a start, to make out faces.

First I saw Quil, of all people. My heart stopped and I almost stopped swimming, so shocked by seeing my old very good friend after over a year of time that I forgot how to move for a full second before the water in my nose quickly reminded me. Next I saw who I could only assume was Sam. He was similar to the guy I remember who'd carried Bella out of the woods what must have been two years ago now, and also fit description from what Quil and Jake had said. I looked up next, only to see who must have been Jake at the top. I was stunned most by this. Not because it hurt to see him but.... because it didn't. I felt that same dull ache and a sort of whistful longing for the joy and completeness I'd once felt, but Jake had hurt me very deeply and I'd come to terms with him being an asshole and how I deserved better. I would find someone better, if that's what I really did want for me someday. Until then, it was about me. It was about what I wanted and needed and what made me happy. Jake didn't make me happy anymore. Any good was tainted by the tattoo and the short hair and how he was shirtless despite the slight chill, in cut off shorts. He wasn't My Jake anymore. He was Jacob Black, nothing but a heart breaker and a complete stranger.

My eyes returned to the people in the water, only to immediately notice that a few of the guys were now looking at me as well. I clouding Quil who's eyes went as wide as mine were. His smile completely dropped, his expression unsure. I shook myself out of my stupor, nodding once to him before turning away and focusing on getting to shore. I was done with the beach today. It wasn't fun anymore Unlike Jake, Quil was only good memories and Sam was only the person who had stolen everything for me. It was too many mixed emotions, all intense, and it ruined my relaxation and tranquility.

I heard someone scream my name as I reached the sand, exhausted and nearly falling over. I'd gotten too used to the feeling of the water. I ignored them and everything as I quickly made my way through the sand, folding my arms over my chest as my body tensed up more than it had been when I'd come here, shaking and shivering in the cold. Another scream of my name, much closer. How had they already gotten to shore? My teeth were chattering and I continued to ignore them, even though now I could identify them as- "Quil come on. She's not interested." That was a new voice. I turned, still protective of Quil even after everything we'd been through. But it wasn't Sam.

This boy was much smaller and skinnier, even though he was also muscular and taller and bigger than most boys I'd seen my entire life. Seriously what did they feed these boys?! He had wet hair that was kind of wild and strong features. He was pretty, I won't lie. Very attractive. I felt almost pulled to him, just a little. Perhaps it was my curiosity.

Then our eyes met. The whole world seemed to freeze over and burn up at the same time. My body was both too hot and too cold, tingling and burning and flashes of weird feelings everywhere. I felt the air get knocked out of my lungs and my body released any and all tensions it had held before. I almost lost my footing completely. He did, falling to his knees. Probably because of the bigger mass he had on me.

"Whoa, Embry, you okay?" Embry. THAT was Embry? The Embry who was Quil's ex-best friend and almost lover? Who had been Quil's Jake? Who had left Quil and Jake alike to join some gang for god knows why? Got into god knows what trouble?

Very quickly, I pulled myself together and turned abruptly to take off running away from them. It was hard to run in sand so I moved to the path past the beach and then finally took off at full speed. I didn't stop until I hit my car, my lungs burning and my body weak from over exertion. I moved to the beach first to grab my bag with my pants and keys in it, moving to my car as quickly as possible to take my keys out and get in. I didn't see the guys and thought I was gone free... but then my car wouldn't start. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel for a while before collecting myself, taking hold of my emotions, and then calmly getting out and heading to the trunk where my tools were. I left my bag on the driver's seat, door open as I popped the hood and then looked through what was wrong. There was a knob loose again and I shook my head, reaching over to where my open tool box revealed a wrench that I grabbed to tighten it again and hoping hat would do the trick. I put all my remaining strength in to tightening it as much as possible before putting the wrench back in the box and then going to the driver's seat to try turning on the car again. This time it worked.

With that victory, the same rush as always filled me and the boys and the worries they brought me simply melted away as I stood up, grinning. I moved my bag to the passenger seat, moving to my hood to close up my tool box and close it before I went to put it in the trunk and leave.

Whatever I'd done had allowed the boys I thought I was sure weren't following me to catch up because as I closed my hood I immediately saw Jake and I froze stiff, my joy forgotten. How soon the face of my ex could crush my happiness in the same way that happiness had wiped my mind of him just for a blissful moment. He had his arms crossed over his chest, seeming almost... proud of me. "You kept up the whole car thing. You handled that pretty well. Pretty quickly too."

"Yeah, you started me on a path that I followed. I'm pretty good at it I think. It's kind of all I do, other than school. Don't have any friends or family to occupy my time so what else am I going to do, right?" His smile dropped at that. My expression didn't change from an emotionless, distant disinterest. He swallowed, not liking my new reaction to him. It had been a year and a half though, what did he expect? "What do you want, Black?"

He made a face like he was tasting something bitter. "Look, I just came over here because my friend said you looked hurt-"

"Embry?" I perked up and immediately tried to hide it.

He eyed me. "No..." He swallowed, shuffling like he felt physically uncomfortable suddenly. "Paul- why- why did you ask about Embry specifically?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. You guys always come here on Saturday?"

"Usually," he said slowly, after a pause.

My face scrunched in distaste. "I'll aim for Friday's and Sunday's then. See you, Jake." My expression softened. "Look, I'm over everything that happened. It was forever ago. No bad blood?"

He didn't see to like that. "Sure." Seeking hin again reminded me that he was a different body and ran with a different group, but in the end he was still the same Jake. Still tender and concerned and proud of my progression. Still my friend. Still the boy I'd fallen in love with once upon a dream. Strange. What had changed with us then, if I was the same and he was the same? Then I noticed the tiredness. He looked almost.... aged. More hesitant. Darker.

So that was it. Whatever he'd gone through HAD changed him after all. If anything, I felt bad for him. I nodded to make my leave but was only able to put my tools in the trunk and move to my driver's seat before Embry himself finally ran up, eyes wide and totally out of breath.

"Wait!" He moved quickly to the front of the car. Jake wore an expression as bewildered as ny own, so I assumed this wasn't normal. "Sorry," he scrambled to pull himself together, raising a hand to run through his wild hair. I let out a short laugh, cutting it off and covering my mouth. He was honestly gorgeous, in a totally different way than Jake was. Embry's smile was crooked and charming and kind of boyish. He was lively and goofy and put me at ease instantly. He seemed as fun as Quil but much more energetic and I was almost too ready for it. Excited. "Are you free, maybe next weekend?" He rubbed the back of his neck and I knew I was blushing. "I know this is sudden and really weird but you're really pretty and um I'll probably never see you again."

"She probably isn't interested in-"

"Sure." I didn't mean to cut Jacob off, but I'd already been about to say it when he'd begun.

He shot me an even more surprised look. "What?" He demanded.

Quil strolled up, shaking his head. "SMOOTH, Embry. Honestly you're a disaster."

That knocked me out of my weird train of thought. Embry. Embry who was Quil's. Right? Embry who was part of Sam's gang. Sam who had taken everyone from me, including Jake, who was also probably one of Embry's best friends again now that they were in the gang together and up to who knows what. Trouble. This boy was nothing but trouble.

While Jake busies himself looking between me, Embry, and Quil, I pulled myself together. "Sorry, no." Embry seemed surprised by that. Fair, as he'd gotten an enthusiastic yes from me just seconds before. I smiled politely. "I'm sorry- Embry was it?" He nodded. "I'm not interested. I'm not in the dating scene right now and even if I was, I don't think whatever you're looking for is with me."

As I went to get in, he scrambled to stop me. "No you don't understand!" He was suddenly very close and it was incredibly distracting. "I know what you must think of Sam and the rest of us, but I promise you you're actually EVERYTHING I'm looking for. Specifically."

I was genuinely stunned. "Uh... excuse me?"

-

Forever Tag List: @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21 @captainxholmes @bitchyseawitch @justanotherdaydreamersoul

[thewriterwithnoplan]

DC Masterlist

Mouse Meet Cat (Bart Allen x Reader) 

Summary: Bart is pretty tired of everyone being so slow. So when he’s offered the chance to go after one of Gotham’s best and fastest - Catgirl, herself - he’s not one to turn down a challenge. But, as always, things don’t go to plan and one, not-so-chance-meeting-later, Bart is ready to prove himself wrong. Maybe slow isn’t so bad.

Oneshot

Their Perfect Girl

Summary: She’s the golden girl. She’s got it all; a loving mentor, a crazy team, a city to protect, even a spot on the Justice League - once she’s old enough. She’s the perfect girl, and what she wants, she gets. Except, of course, Billie Batson, who’s too oblivious to see that she is completely and utterly head over heels for the bad boy.

Oneshot

Fire, Brimstone and the Glory of Gotham (Bart Allen x Reader)

Summary: Bart Allen always seems to know something about something. Strange facts or secrets or theories gifted to him from his soulmate. This ‘gift’ along with his forbidden speed wielding abilities, get him landed smack bang in the center of the Gotham Resistance - an army fighting against the Reach with the help of villains and assassins. Tangled up with the Council of Robins - an elitist group of heroic descendants - and their fearless leader Y/N Drake AKA Commander Apocalypse, Bart must navigate this new environment like a minefield. Because one wrong step could bring his life and the lives of every last human being, to a short and bitter end. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Smallville (Jon Kent x Soulmate!Reader)

Summary: Y/N’s just Gotham Academy’s new rich girl, the daughter of Bruce Wayne’s friend and the confidant of bilingual protegee son Damian. She’s just the next pawn in fates little game of soulmates. Or rather she’s being forced into the role of pawn, but Y/N is anything but. Against the fates themselves, her destiny and her heart Y/N must fight in order to keep her family’s secrets.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Christmas Headcanon

You know him? (Tim Drake x Reader)

Summary: Y/N is a simple girl of simple interests, she’s straight forward in what she wants and that’s what attracted Tim Drake. The adorable couple is close as could be sharing each and every secret. At least Tim thought he knew everything.

“You know him?” 

Dirty and Useless (Titans!Jason Todd x Reader)

Summary: Jason Todd had always said there were only two types of cop; Dirty and Useless. So when Y/N comes along with a spunky partner and a laughable code name it’s safe to say they don’t exactly see eye to eye. But if they’ve got anything in common it’s their secrets. Both are hiding behind masks whether they know it or not. Will the Robin get the Nightingale to come out of the shadows? 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Christmas Headcanon

Night (Damian Wayne x Reader)

Summary: Y/N isn’t exactly a villain they just call her a ‘bad guy’. At least it’s for the right reason, children. Y/N looks after children, it’s her way of washing the slate clean. And the slate needs a good scrubbing if Y/N is ever to wash all that blood off.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Hell and Back (Spn x Reader x DC)

Summary: Y/N Winchester is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. The half-sibling of the famed brothers and she was there through it all. Until now. After Jack’s birth she made a deal with Batman himself. His money for her expertise. She can pay for a real school and some online classes for her and Jack. All she has to do is enlighten the Team about her world. Easy peasy, right?

Part 1 Part 1.5

Gem (Damian Wayne x Gem!OC)

Summary: Sage Universe is the gem daughter of Steven Universe. But she’s also a League of Assassins member and partner in crime to Damian Wayne. Well, she is when she’s not stuck in gem form.

Gem Crystal Gem Lost Gem

[bloo-jae]

Naedis' Playlist

1. Billie Eilish - bury a friend

"What do you want from me? / Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? / What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? / Why do you care for me? / When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"

2. SIAMÉS - The Wolf

"I'm out of my head, of my heart, and my mind / 'Cause you can run but you can't hide / I'm gonna make you mine"

3. Billie Eilish - all the good girls go to hell

"Hills burn in California / My turn to ignore ya / Don't say I didn't warn ya"

"All the good girls go to hell / 'Cause even god herself has enemies / And once the water starts to rise / and heaven's out of sight / She'll want the devil on her team"

4. Billie Eilish - ilomilo

"Told you not to worry / But maybe that's a lie / Honey, what's your hurry? / Won't you stay inside? / Remember not to get too close to stars / They're never gonna give you love like ours"

"I tried not to upset you, let you rescue me / The day I met you I just wanted to protect you / But now I'll never get to"

"So, where did you go? I should know, but it's cold / And I don't wanna be lonely / Was hoping you'd come home / I don't care if it's a lie"

5. Vicetone ft. Kat Nestels - Angels

"Oh God, I'm going insane / Chasing after you, please don't leave me / I see your heart washing away / And that's how you left me in the cold"

"It's pitiful how you let me lose / You better run, better run / Your time is up, nothing you can do / Better run, better run"

"I can remember when you hurt me so bad / But now the table's turned, apocalypse is coming / I can remember when you left me so sad / But in the end I learned it rains in hell and angels could be bad"

6. Maria Mena - It Took Me By Surprise

"It took me by surprise / The hatred in his eyes / I pushed this man as far as he could go / And he lacked the words to let me know"

7. Dear Evan Hansen - Words Fail

"I never meant to make it such a mess / I never thought that it would go this far / So I just stand here, sorry, searching for something to say / Something to say"

"Words fail, words fail / There's nothing I can say / Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted / And sometimes you see everything you wish you had / And it's right there, right there, right there in front of you / And you want to believe it's true / So you make it true"

8. Glass Animals - Agnes

"Guess life is long / When soaked in sadness / On borrowed time / From Mr. Madness / And so it goes / A choking rose back / To be reborn / I wanna hold you like you're mine"

"You're gone but you're on my mind / I'm lost but I don't know why"

9. My Chemical Romance - The Ghost of You

"I never said I'd lie and wait forever / If I died, we'd be together now / I can't always just forget her / But she could try"

"At the end of the world / Or the last thing I see / You are never coming home, never coming home / Could I? Should I? / And all the things that you never ever told me / And all the smiles that are never ever, ever"

10. atlas - defeated

"You make me complete / You made me complete / And now I feel defeated"

11. Mother Mother - Little Pistol

"I think I might be scared / of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid / And how it gets in the way"

"I want brimstone in my garden / I want roses set on fire / And I want what's best for me / And I think I know just what that means"

"Today I coo / Today I caw / I have a pistol party and I kill 'em all / I think I might be scared / Of the man and the men with their hands inside / And the women, oh the women, all they do is cry / And I lose my mind"

"I found Jesus / What a liar / So I trade licks / With the muddy water"

12. Mother Mother - Burning Pile

"All my troubles on a burning pile / All lit up and I start to smile / If I catch fire then I'll change my aim / Throw my troubles at the pearly gates"

13. Mother Mother - The Stand

"Everyone's fucked and they don't even know"

14. Spaces - Undone

"And I don't know what became of me / I closed you out and I lost the key"

"I know that I can get a little shy / I'm sorry that I keep it all inside / And I can't open up to you / It's everything I have to lose"

15. Jack Stauber - Al Dente

"Life made you bitter, I can make you tender"

16. Jack Conte - Yeah Yeah Yeah

"I bought you a gift / It's a picture frame for my face / When you decide to place me in the past / 'Cause nothing lasts"

"And you're always on my mind / But I never mind the space / That you take up in my brain / I'll take you any way I can / 'Cause day by day will fade away"

17. Jack Stauber - The End

"There is no happy end / It's only just the end / There is no happy end / It's only just the end / There may be happy later, happy now, and happy then / But there is no happy end"

18. The Neighbourhood - Everybody's Watching Me

"I told you I would tell you everything yu want to know / You want me to tell you now / You pressure me to shout it / Need to hear about it / I think that I will count you out"

"I let you find it on your own / Then I found myself alone"

"I go through all the trouble / Keeping it within my walls / I try to be as subtle as I can / Soon enough it eats me / All I've done defeats me / Looks like you were right again / And again"

19. Cissie Redgewick - Gimme That Swing!

"Now that I'm fine, you better believe I won't wait around for your call / Honey, I see you were easy to shade, I'm gonna shoot you down"

20. Doja Cat - 4 Morant

"I can't handle rejection / Stare at my reflection / Damn, no one gets it"

21. of Montreal - Spiteful Intervention

"It's fucking sad that we need a tragedy to occur to gain a fresh perspective in our lives / Nothing happens for a reason, there's no point even pretending, you know the sad truth as well as I"

"I spend my waking hours / Haunting my own life / I made the one I love start crying tonight / And it felt good"

"That really should fill me with shame / But all I have is this manic energy"

22. The Scary Jokes - Catabolic Seed

"Oh, what's a devil to do / When those old delusions so tried and true don't come through / Like they used to"

"I'll retreat back into me / Like a catabolic seed / I want to destroy everything that's mine"

23. AwkwardMarina - Crushed Creations

Battle-ready I stumble / Crushed creations I crumble / Take my pencil out of my hands / I'll be free of this"

24. Jack Conte - Eat

"What a game we play in this arena / It's called haul your ass or you'll be eaten"

"I'll keep me calm with a slew of convictions / Nothing sings like a good distraction / I wish my head was a page in a printer / Trash bad thoughts with the click of a finger"

"With the crack of a gun / And the smash of a bone / We will fall to our knees / And we're gone / And we won't come back / Now I'm alive / And my soul is on fire / And I breathe / And I love / And I sing / And you can't stop me"

25. The Himalayas - Thank God I'm Not You

"I'm a coward, I'm a freak / The scum of the Earth / A liar and a cheat / But I could be so much worse"

26. Lincoln - Saint Bernard

"Hung pictures of patron saints up on my walls / To remind me that I am a fool / Tell me where I came from, what I will always be / Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school"

"When I am dead I won't join their ranks / 'Cause they are both holy and free"

"Make me love myself so that I might love you / Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to God / When I said it, I thought it was true"

"Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you / But he's got his own things to deal with / There's really just one thing that we have in common / Neither of us will be missed"

27. Mr. Kitty - Resurrection

"She fell to the floor / It wasn't the end / She left so soon / My only dear friend"

"I picked up the gun / Barrel rests on my head / Let this be a reminder / For everything left unsaid"

"I couldn't speak / I couldn't move / My eyes were shut / And everything went black"

28. Mr. Kitty - I Did It All For You

"I wouldn't be here / If it wasn't for you / I couldn't be there / To save yourself from you / Now my wings feel heavy / But I have to prove / This was all for you / I did it all for you"

29. Mr. Kitty - Bloodletting

"I'll avenge / Your pain to me / Without a voice / Don't try to scream / Destroying me / Is not a choice / A thousand times / Is not enough"

"You burned my eyes / Now I can see / I've seen a god / But Hell is you / What do you mean / You're in distress / I thought you meant / To rest in peace"

[harrygroves]

#78 and #63 😋

#78 “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you” + #63 “Stop running from this, I know I’m not the only one whole feels it.” 

just boys being stupid with their feelings

There was no booze involved, no weed, nothing to excuse it. It wasn’t under the protective cloak of night, it was in the early afternoon, sun glaring from where it was slowly descending, spotlighting them through the window.

Most importantly, it was a mistake.

They’d been fighting, arguing over something stupid. Billy doesn’t remember that part. The whole thing seemed like a weird fever-dream.

Billy was on the Student Council, he was elected president. Steve was the treasurer. Nothing was forgiven, nothing was forgot, but they were civil, amicable in their duties.

They were sitting in a classroom with other members but one by one they trickled out until only Steve and Billy remained.

Maybe they had been discussing the budget, something about how the Prom Committee wanted, like, three-hundred dollars over what they had been allotted.

Maybe it was about figuring out how to fundraise for new uniforms for the basketball team.

Maybe it was leftover spite from the fight that only happened months prior.

But somehow Billy and Steve were in each other’s face, standing and yelling until they were both red and wild-eyed.

Billy, unsurprisingly, had lashed out first.

He didn’t mean anything by it, but Steve was right there, eyes bright with fire and brimstone and mouth working through words faster than Billy could process.

Billy reached out and pushed him back a little.

Steve had both hands up in a heartbeat, palms flat against Billy and shoving him back harder.

And Billy knew this wouldn’t end well, but he didn’t know it was going to end like that.

Steve was taller, and yeah, he was strong but Billy was all muscle and had Steve crowded up against the blackboard after some more squabbling.

Wrists in his hands, squeezing till Steve let out a gasp, Billy’s attention was on his eyes, his beautiful and big eyes, earthy brown with flecks of green.

Steve was yelling at him, swearing and berating him and Billy, god, he just wanted it to stop, the litany of bullshit spewing from those lips he hadn’t been able to get out of his head for months.

So he just pushed, in and in until they were kissing, until Steve was shaking in his hands. Their lips moved harshly, Steve faltering as it went on. Billy bit and licked and Steve gasped, whimpered hotly into Billy’s mouth.

Billy never would have thought that someone could taste so sweet.

He’d seen Steve chewing on bubble gum during the meeting, so that had to be it.

When he pulled back, separated their mouths, he knew he wouldn’t get that chance again.

He let Steve go like he was made of flames, like his skin was burning Billy every place they were in contact.

Steve sagged a little against the board and his eyes were wide and full of new understanding.

It made Billy’s stomach tighten.

He wanted to vomit.

*

Billy got blackout drunk that night. He took his car and went to the quarry and stared out at the abyss and drank until he couldn’t see straight, wanted that darkness to take him and swallow him whole. He slept in his car and lost the feeling in his fingers.

School was hell the next day. He was wearing the same clothes, reeked of booze that seemed to drip from his pores and his head was pounding well through the second half of his classes.

He thought about going to the nurse and charming her into letting him pass out in one of the beds but right when he was going to go, Steve intercepted his path.

“Billy.” He hissed, and he was blushing and it was beautiful.

Billy grimaced, looked away so he wouldn’t stare, slack-jawed at how pretty those crow’s feet under Steve’s eyes made him look, tired, pillow-creased, soft. “No. Don’t talk to me.”

Steve pushed. “We need to talk about what happened.”

“Not in the middle of the goddamn hallway. Now move.” Billy growled, shouldering past him.

The nurse could tell Billy was a mess and she let him sleep for two hours, until the final bell rang and the stampede of kids woke him up with a start.

If possible, he felt worse but he thanked the nurse and left, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up.

Steve was waiting at his car. There were kids walking around, talking in groups, and Steve fucking Harrington was leaning against his Camaro like it was no big deal. In another lifetime Billy could picture Steve wearing his jacket, a mark of pride, a claiming.

This was not that life.

“Are you stupid?” BIlly grumbled.

Steve shrugged. “We’re on Student Council together, it’s not exactly weird for people to see us talking.”

“Okay, well maybe I don’t want to see you.”

Steve stands up straight, meets Billy’s gaze head-on. “I don’t buy that.” He says fiercely.

Billy lowers his voice. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. There, now get the fuck away from me. Other than Student Council there’s no reason for us to talk. So just. Stay away from me.”

And he got into his car, made sure to lock the doors, started the car and pressed hard on the gas to make Steve jump back.

*

It was because Billy was born under a full moon, yellow and daunting in the middle of October, hanging low like it wanted a ring-side seat to the birth.

It was because he was cursed, he had to have been, touched by a demon with a thirst for emotional pain. It couldn’t have been a coincidence, how bad Billy’s life was. He refused to believe it.

Something was in the water, had infected his blood, coursing hot beneath his skin at all times, making him jumpy and overcompensate for the terror that always sat in his belly, dormant but active like a volcano.

His life wasn’t fair or just.

Because Steve Harrington was everywhere.

A magnetic force that pulled Billy in, causing him to orbit around Steve across most of the shitty bum-ass town they had to call home.

At the drugstore, waiting outside the arcade, passing him in the hallway between every single one of his classes, Steve was there.

He would stare at Billy, across parking lots, down the aisle, from his Beemer. It was distracting, disorienting, sickening. And Billy knew it was all his fault. He was the one with the problem, the crush, the disease.

Steve was innocent in all of this. And Billy had inadvertently gotten him involved.

Student Council loomed the following week, and most of the members had come up to him with reasons they couldn’t be there.

“My cat’s sick.”

“I have a major History test I need to cram for.”

“Dude, my parents are out of town and I want to throw a wicked party. You’re totally invited.”

One by one, Billy told them to do whatever they had to do, and there would only be him and Steve and one other girl at the meeting.

So he cancelled it.

He told the girl, Molly or something, that the meeting wasn’t happening and she looked like she couldn’t care less.

He asked if she’d tell Steve.

That made her frown. “He’s not in any of my classes.”

“Sure, okay.” Billy nodded. “I’ll figure it out.”

He didn’t figure anything out, he just didn’t show up to the meeting. Let Steve come to his own conclusions.

But Steve caught him on his way out the front door, grabbing his shoulder and pulling Billy back.

“What the fuck, Harrington?!” Billy yelled at him, shaking Steve’s hand off.

But Steve only got a better grip on him, pulled him harder until they were in an empty classroom and Billy didn’t want to cause a scene, didn’t want eyes on them, so he let himself be pulled.

Steve shut the door behind them and crowded Billy up against the door.

“What?” Billy asked passively, eyes on the floor.

Steve snorted, half-laughed and put his hands on his hips. “You’re a real pain in the ass, ya know that?”

Billy didn’t answer and Steve slammed his hands hands on either side of Billy’s head.

Steve’s breath came out in staccato, like he was nervous. He leaned in close, mouth brushing Billy’s ear and Billy felt his body tense, something warm coil around him. “Stop running from this, I know I’m not the only one who feels it.”

“Get the fuck away.”

Steve pulled back. “You gonna hit me? Do it.” He challenged.

And then he waited.

Billy wanted to punch him, make that pretty face black and blue, mottled purple and rusty red. He wanted Steve to taste blood for days.

Truthfully, Billy wanted all of that for himself too.

But Steve’s scent and his eyes, his goddamn eyes, his lips, those stupid moles on his cheek.

He shuddered a little as Steve leaned in closer, let himself be kissed, made a sound against Steve’s mouth, an agitated grunt like he was trying to work this all out in his head.

Steve kissed him hard, biting at his mouth, poking with his tongue to get Billy to open. He put his hands on Billy’s face and angled it so Billy felt like he was being consumed. He was surprised at how gentle this all felt when he was normally used to pain, too fast, too brutal to actually enjoy.

Steve pulled back, panting, eyes bright.

“Feel that?” He asked shakily. “You can’t keep denying it.”

Billy wanted to reply, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t like that, exuberant with his emotions. Billy shoved Steve back, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and left the classroom before Steve had a chance to pin him again.

[idaoftheburningmind]

I will take it upon myself to lovingly scream at our beloved Cult Leader in my baby sister @outlawadvocate ‘s behalf. So here goes:

OMG CHELSEA, YOU GODDESS, YOU GENIUS, YOU GORGEOUS GIVER OF FANTASIES WE DIDN’T KNOW WE NEEDED! NO, DON’T CRINGE, DON’T RUN AWAY, WE CLING!!! WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! 💛🧡💛🧡💛

Assuming Chelsea has not blocked me permanently, I will continue with the babbling equivalent of the zoomies.

Ever since the first drabble, we have been waiting for Demon Billy to make an appearance in his own full-length fic. As we had hoped, he arrives in Chelsea’s monster-verse with fire, with brimstone, with unbearably sexy hips, and of course the horns and the tail we’ve already heard so much about.

Chelsea’s storytelling has us in thrall from the dire events of the opening until the fateful moment Billy utters the words, “I only serve her.”

In trademark Chelsea fashion though, this isn’t just the story of a summoning gone wrong, or of a reluctant mistress cajoled into falling for her demon slave. The narrative refuses to go the easy route of the traditional master-slave dynamic and instead sits us down to lunch, urges us to get to know these characters better and maybe recognize something of ourselves in both of them.

The reader has been traumatized — was injured, betrayed, faced the fear of never surviving the night — and this detail is never trivialized.

Everyone smiles at you. No one knows what you've been through.

Through her eyes, we see a world of hidden menace yet find the only assurance of certainty and solace where we would have least expected it.

You suck in a breath of frustration, looking right into his dark, yet seemingly genuine eyes…

Later:

You blink at the tone of his voice, soft yet filled with the promise of so much more…

And right before the end:

…intoxicated by the way he makes you feel with only an embrace.

… Maybe he wouldn't leave like everyone else does.

Billy makes plain his motivations, and gives neither us nor the reader any reason to doubt him.

… I ask for nothing in return but your acceptance of me as I am.

There is always a story behind how we get to where we are, and another about where we deserve to be; then the story of where we choose to be may intersect both.

Chelsea’s An Altar for Our Sins allows us to feel optimistic about where the stories may lead; that is its true power. The Prince of Hell sleeping on our couch is a bonus ❤️

An Altar For Our Sins

Demon!Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, cult worship, demon summoning, cuts and blood, mentions of human sacrifice, mentions of murder, following someone, magic and associated supernatural stuff.

A/N: *cries* I wish I could make a nice demon Billy aesthetic, but alas, I suck.

Dedicated to, @outlawadvocate, because I love her, and @idaoftheburningmind who has literally been a pillar of support in my life for the last week.

Candlelight dances in a circle around the room. A pentagram painted in white sits in the middle, four points filled with objects, the fifth point, empty.

Two men in black robes stand at the empty point.

"You you think this will work?" The one on the left says to the other.

"It's apparently worked before." Replies the other man.

A silence before they hear it, the screeching of brakes as the blue pickup truck halts in front of the building.

"She's here." The first one says.

They both turn to the door.

You struggle to breathe behind the gag. The bed of the truck is cold, and your tiny nightdress and the short coat you put on does nothing to fight the frigid bite of the night air.

Your friend had constantly warned you that taking the trash out at night wasn't safe, but you somehow always got bit with the productivity bug just before you slept. You'd taken out your garbage late at night nearly a hundred times now, what was one more?

One more was apparently one too many.

And you'd barely had time to scream before there was a hand over your mouth and you were being dragged away.

They'd put a blindfold over you along with a gag. Your hands and legs were zip tied together. They'd even secured your hands to the bed of the truck and tossed something weighted over you. Even if you could scream, even if you could jump out- there was almost no hope of making it out of this alive.

They'd been driving for what felt like hours, and you'd cried and cried until your blindfold was wet, and soaked on your skin. Your nose was stuffy, making it harder to breathe. The gag was damp too, sucking the moisture from your mouth. The bed of the truck hurt, and you just wished for a moment, for an opening to escape.

The truck hits a bump and you jostle painfully, groaning.

Your head hits the rear panel of the truck as it comes to a stop. You groan, tugging at your bindings uselessly.

You hear the truck door slam shut, followed by the crunching of gravel below rubber soles, the clicking of the tailgate as it slides open. Two hands grab your ankles and pull you down.

You're tossed over a shoulder, and you wiggle in an attempt to escape. The person your body is draped over is strong, and holds you firm.

The crunching of gravel turns to some type of smooth floor. You feel the jolts as the person ascends a small flight of stairs.

A wooden door creaks open, a few more steps, and then you're placed gently onto your knees on a cold marble floor.

The blindfold comes off to reveal five robed figures standing in front of you.

"She's pretty." One of the figures says, possibly male.

You look at them pleadingly, eventually getting distracted by the large room with greek styled pillars and marble flooring.

You're sat at a corner of a pentagram... which tells you everything you need to know about what's going to happen.

"You sure she's a virgin?" Someone else asks.

" 'Course, I picked her out myself." You knew that voice. You turn to her, your eyes shining with recognition even though you can't see her face.

"Okay, yes, yes, it's me, Y/N." She pulls her hood back. Your eyes widen when you see her, one of your first friends you made in the city.

"To be fair, I did warn you about taking the trash out too late at night." Stacy continues. She moves forward to cut your coat from your body. She struggles with the thick material.

"Sorry," she says, "It's nothing personal, we just needed a sacrifice on short notice."

You whimper behind the gag as she pulls your coat off your body, leaving you in your pink nightdress and ballet flats.

You squirm, trying to get away, but they put a substance under your nose. Your head floats, and you're out within a minute, body slumping onto the floor.

Chanting rings in your ears, your stomach fills with dread. You struggle to fight the lethargy set into your bones. The sounds of the people around you increase, the unintelligible words get faster and faster until it’s a loud booming in your head. You whimper in discomfort- you hated loud sounds.

You can't even raise your hands to cover your ears, the chanting builds to a crescendo before it stops suddenly.

You feel hands on your shoulder, pulling you upright onto your knees.

It's still just five of them.

You try to pull away when you see the flash of a knife. Someone pulls your bound hands outward. Another person puts a bowl with other ingredients below your bound hands.

You jerk away, wiggling and crying.

The cut happens fast. A quick swipe of the blade on the wrist of your left arm. A quick sting before the gush of blood. The pain comes next, as if your body only just process its been wounded. Your vision blurs with tears as you bleed into the bowl.

They release your wrist, and you try to raise your bound hands and press it against your chest to try and stop the bleeding. It's a deep wound, and you doubt your pathetic attempt will do anything.

They slide the bowl into the centre of the pentagram and it suddenly catches fire. Red flames spew from the wooden bowl, and smoke fills the room. You try to scoot back, only to find someone standing right behind you, a foot on your back, keeping you in the circle. Your eyes burn, but you try to keep them open to see what's happening.

The smoke fills the circle, and something large appears in the middle, shrouded by smoke. A humanoid figure. The candles behind him make it hard to see his face, or any discernable features, but you can clearly make out the piercing red of his eyes, and the bare state of his body.

The smoke fades, leaving a pale figure with horns sprouting from his head, standing in front of you.

He takes a few steps forward, and the robed figures from behind you shuffle back in what you can only assume is fear.

You look up at him as he stops infront of you. You're not really afraid of him as much- you've accepted your fate.

He studies you intently, and you do the same, he's incredibly handsome, with his perfectly styled hair, cut jawline and stubbled cheek. His eyes fade from red, into black, he looks very normal if not for the horns sprouting from the top of his head.

"Asmodeus, Prince of Demons." Someone says from behind you. You watch as his face pinches with annoyance, and he takes his time looking away from you.

"We summon you here to do our bidding. We give you this virgin as a peace offering, so that you may obey us willingly."

His eyebrows shoot up.

"I obey none of you." He says, his voice a deep timbre that makes you shiver. He looks down at you for a moment.

Murmurs erupt behind you.

"But the ritual says you serve your summoner." You hear Stacy speak.

"And yet, none of you five are my summoners."

"What do you mean?"

He gives a low chuckle, the candle flames glow brighter.

"My summoner is the one whose blood is spilt to call me here."

He looks down at you again tilting his head to catch the way you look in the candlelight.

"I only serve her."

He kneels in front of you then, extending his hand halfway to you. He waits patiently as you assess him, and extend your bound wrists out to him.

Your blood soaks his palms, but he barely cares, breaking the cable tie binding your wrists. He puts one hand over your wound, and you feel a strange tingle. When he pulls back, the wound is healed, leaving an angry raised scar in its place. He reaches for your face next, and you flinch gently when he reaches to remove your gag, tugging it down until it sits around your neck.

"Well, she serves us! Which means you do as we say."

His eyes meet yours.

"Is that true, mistress? Do you serve these mortals?" He asks, the use of the title makes your heart beat faster in your chest.

"If she doesn't, we'll hurt her family!" Someone interjects from behind you.

"I have no family," You whisper to him, voice hoarse, "and they don't control me."

He leans in again, and you flinch another time. He sighs, despising how afraid you are. He breaks the bindings holding your legs together, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

You may survive this night yet.

He raises his hand, and touches the soft skin of your cheek gently, your warm blood rubbing off on your cheek.

"Sleep, mistress. I'll keep you safe."

Your eyelids flutter, and you're asleep in seconds.

He catches you as you slump over, resting you gently onto the cold floors.

He looks up then, with excitement in his eyes.

He moves forward, laughing at their scared faces. At the circle's edge, he hesitates for emphasis, and then crosses the line. He enjoys the frightened gasps and watch as they try to leave the room.

He's locked the doors, and he's going to enjoy the slaughter.

You wake up in your bed, surprisingly well rested. A yawn slips from your mouth and you give a big stretch as you sit up, blankets pooling around your hips. You really had the weirdest dreams sometimes. Slipping off your bed, you aim straight for your coffee maker. You groan as you feel a sore spot on your shoulder, you try to stretch it as best as possible.

"Do you need help?" A voice asks behind you.

You whip around with a scream. It's him, the man from yesterday, standing in your kitchen. He's tall, with dark eyes and rough stubble on his cheek.

He's wearing plain clothes and combat boots. His eyebrows raise as you continue blabbering in panic.

"Oh my god it's you! You're real! That wasn't a dream! You- you have horns!"

You back away from him as much as possible. He doesn't move.

"I can get rid of them if you like." He makes a wave of his hands and the horns, curving out from the top of his hair, disappears.

Your breathing increases as you try to come to terms with the implications of his presence, leaning against your countertop, trying to catch your breath. You look at your wrist, and the scar is there, large and fully healed. How didn't you notice it before?

"I won't hurt you." He says, reminding you that there's a stranger in your home.

"Get out!" You shout.

He raises his hands as a peace gesture.

"Me leaving won't make this go away."

You turn back to grab a plate from your dish rack and you toss it at him. He disappears just as the dish is about to hit him. The plate shatters against the floor instead. You stand, dazed at the unfolded events.

You spend the entire day trying to wash away the memories, they've come back with full force, and there's a struggle within you to accept that it happened. You stare at Stacy's contact on your phone, turning things over in your head. It's vivid in your mind, the kidnapping, the bumpy ride, the robed figures.... and him.... standing in a circle of fire, looking right at you. You try to forget it happened, throwing yourself into any distraction you can find to avoid the memories. After a day or two, everything just feels like a bad dream and you're ready to try mixing into the world again.

You leave your apartment on day three, after taking a couple of days off from work.

The paranoia gets to you though, you constantly feel like you're not alone. The feeling makes you nervous and you can't help but go back to bad habits such as biting your nails and consuming an exorbitant amount of coffee. Everyone smiles at you. No one knows what you've been through.

On your way home, you take your normal route through the park, where you'd usually be buried in your phone, you're alert with paranoia. You hyperfixate on every sound, on every movement, until you're trembling and moving to avoid other people.

It's when you dodge a woman and her baby that you trip on a tree root, almost crashing to the ground. Someone catches you, steadying you by the shoulders.

You gasp when you see him, and you step back from his grip. He's dressed normally, and his horns aren't in their usual spot.

"Are you alright?" He asks casually, hands in his pocket.

You're on the verge of freaking out again.

"It's you isn't it? You've been following me all day. I can't shake the feeling."

"I don't have much of a choice." He answers.

"What? Yes you do, just stop following me! Leave me alone!"

Your statement turns a few heads, and although you're angrily looking at him, his eyes move to glance at the people around.

"Relax, mistress, please, take a deep breath. I'm not here to hurt you."

"I don't care if you're here to help, just stay away from me." You hiss, angrily turning away, but stop suddenly when you find him suddenly in front of you again.

Though you know he won't be where he was standing before, you still look back to check.

"Staying away from you will harm us both. Allow me a chance to explain."

You suck in a breath of frustration, looking right into his dark, yet seemingly genuine eyes.

You sigh, looking around as if someone is going to pop out of the blue and save you from your predicament.

"Fine," you finally relent, "What do I call you?"

Maybe you shouldn't have yielded to his request so easily. You contemplate this as you pretend to stare at the menu of one of your favourite restaurants. He sits across from you, in his green sweater and navy pants. He's perusing the menu too, but he looks more curious about the meals than you are.

He'd told you his name- William- Billy for short, but you needed more information than that. Perhaps that's the reason you decided to entertain a conversation, and even a meal with him. The curiosity of the situation winning out.

"What would have happened," you begin to ask, he looks up from his menu, "If I'd walked away from you earlier in the park and never gave you a chance to speak?"

He closes his menu, looking right into your eyes so that you understand his sincerity.

"I would continue to follow you. There is no place you can go where I cannot follow." A smile works onto his lips and he tilts his head and you think that he must be the most handsome man you've ever seen.

"Actually, there is one place where I can't go." He laughs, as if you're supposed to understand his meaning.

The realisation hits.

"You're not even a man." You murmur. At the same time, the waitress comes up to politely take your order. You select a pasta, and listen as Billy asks for a medium rare steak. Her eyes linger on him for quite a while, and you fight the urge to tell her that he emerged from literal Hell.

When she leaves, he continues as if she was never there.

"I was once. Not anymore."

"And now you're...." he looks at you expectantly, waiting for your words, "a demon." You finish.

"And you're my mistress." He says casually.

"What does that mean?" You ask, another memory of that night rears it's head, his voice, 'sleep mistress, I'll keep you safe.'

That couldn't be too bad, could it?

"The ritual used to summon me was designed so that I would serve. I thought I'd destroyed every mention of it, but I guess I was wrong."

He's not looking at you.

"I'm bounded to you, and only death will release me."

You think for a long moment. Looking at him, you let the memory of that night wash over you. That out of all the people there, he was the only one willing to show you mercy. That maybe that show of devotion was worth something.

"So now what?" You ask, voice barely above a whisper, "We find a way to set you free?"

Billy shakes his head, "There's no other way. I'm sure of it. Your death is the only thing that frees me."

"So what's stopping you from killing me?" You ask.

The corner of his lips tilts upward.

"That's an excellent question." Billy says, and before he can continue, the waitress comes back with your food.

Instead of elaborating on his previous statement, you watch his semi-excited movements as he cuts into the steak.

"Thank god," he murmurs, "Haven't had a meal in almost a hundred years."

You watch as he raises the meat to his lips, and groans when he takes a bite. You swallow, the sound going right to your core and you blink in surprise at the powerful reaction to him.

Nuh uh.

There was no way you were gonna let him get anywhere near you like that.

He eats a few bites enthusiastically and you smile at the way he appears to enjoy every bite.

"I've killed all my previous summoners."

You blink in surprise at the words he says in between bites, but you wait patiently for him to explain.

"They were all.... annoying, always wanting. Nothing I could give was ever enough. And then there was you."

You stare down at your pasta, and you attempt a bite of it. Delicious as always.

"Me?" You ask, after swallowing when you realise he won't continue unprompted.

"Unwilling. Bleeding out on the floor in your nightgown. Presented to me as a sacrifice, but you were the most powerful mortal there." He pauses, as if he doesn't want to say the next words.

"For the first time in my life, I wanted to serve willingly."

You don't get it. You're not sure if he's saying that he wanted to serve you because you were an unwilling summoner, or because you didn't want anything from him. Perhaps both, you finally decide.

"What if I don't want to be served?" You mumble, looking up at him.

He studies you for a moment, before a smile curves onto his face.

"Why don't we try it out a little bit, mistress, before you decide that. I think you'll like what I can offer."

You blink at the tone of his voice, soft yet filled with the promise of so much more.

Excitement blooms in your stomach, but you quickly squash the thoughts. There's so much you needed to know about him before you could even think about that.

"What can you offer?" You murmur, the curiosity overtaking your every sense.

He grins, downright predatory, drags his eyes over the small amount of your body that he can see above the table. You feel your skin tingle.

"I'll tell you at home."

Home? You wanted to ask, confused that he had a home of his own, but you realise with a jarring thought that he meant your home.

At this point, you're a bit helpless to him. You'd taken him home, let him into your house, and you had no idea why you were just allowing him into your space like this. You hated having people in your apartment, despised the very thought, so when you sat beside him, on your couch, you decided to explain that to him.

"I don't know why I let you in so easily." You murmur, wringing your fingers in your lap.

He doesn't say a word, looking right at you.

"It makes me uncomfortable to let people into my home. But with you, it was easier."

A moment of silence.

"Look at me."

Hesitantly, you lift your eyes, and you're stunned at his slightly demonic transformation. His eyes are rimmed red, piercing into you. Black horns sprout about an inch from his hairline on either side of his head, curving up, and along the shape of his head, before being directed upwards with a pointy tip. You worry that something may be terribly wrong with you, because you suddenly think he's more attractive this way than ever before.

A fuse in your brain blows when his tail reaches out to curl around your wrist, pulling it to him. His tail is also black in colour, like his horns, and his hair, and his normal eyes. It's got an arrowy shape at the end, with a blunted tip. He pushes back your sleeve to reveal the large angry scar you got three days ago.

"I want to give you everything your heart desires. Every craving your body needs. I want to kill kings and topple empires for you, and I ask for nothing in return but your acceptance of me as I am. Do you agree?"

"I- thought I didn't have a choice?" You ask, unsure.

"This is just a formality, mistress." He explains quickly.

"Well then, yes? I agree."

You scar tingles when he dips his head to kiss it, something warm flooding your body.

It puts any nerves you have at ease, you can't help leaning into him, finding that the closer you get, the more relaxed you feel.

"What is this?" You ask, between breaths, "What did you do?"

Your head hits his shoulder, fighting the urge to crawl into his lap and curl up into a ball, a voice in the back of your head telling you that he'd make everything okay.

"Solidified our bond. Now you can see my influence on the world."

His hands snake around your back, pulling you into him, and you sigh in bliss.

"What do you mean by 'influence'?" You ask, intoxicated by the way he makes you feel with only an embrace.

"I guess, it could be called magic, but it's not exactly magic, it's just me."

You raise your head to look at him.

Him.

Just him. And the way he feels against you, and the warm breaths disturbing your hair, and he was yours.

You think you like the idea, the thought excites you. Maybe he wouldn't leave like everyone else does.

You stiffen.

The reality of this situation finally slams into you. Your body trembles and tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision.

When you try to pull away from him, you feel his tail tighten around your wrist.

"What is it? What's wrong mistress?"

"They kidnapped me." You say with a sniffle, "Tried to kill me." You recall the memory of being taken, the sound of the trash bag hitting the floor as someone's hands wrapped around your mouth. They'd been waiting behind the dumpster for you.

The way you'd kicked and screamed as they dragged you to the truck, binding your limbs and gagging you. Tying you to the bed of the truck before putting somethingover your body to conceal you.

"Then you saved me." You murmur, "I was going to die, until you showed up."

You swallow.

"Did you kill them?"

"Yes." He says easily, rubbing the tip of his nose tenderly against yours.

You're not sure how to respond. Were you a bad person? No, you didn't do anything wrong. Would you be going to hell now that you've found yourself bound to a demon? That wasn't even your fault.

It's as if he can hear your thoughts, as if he can look right at you and know what's going through your mind.

"I kept you safe. I did it, and I'd do whatever was necessary to always keep you safe."

You suck in a breath, giving him a nod of understanding as you pull away. He lets you go easily.

"I guess I should show you around then." You suggest, moving to a stand.

He gets to his feet beside you, and follows you around as you give him a small tour of your place.

You finish right where you started, in front of the couch, where he takes a step forward playfully to loom over you.

"The c-couch pulls out into a bed." You say.

"Does it?" He asks, you feel his tail snaking around your wrist once again.

"Yeah, I'll get you some blankets and a pillow." You turn away.

"Wait, why?" His voice stops you.

"So- you can sleep on the couch?" You say, unsure of where the miscommunication is happening.

"Why can't we share a bed, mistress?"

Your heart flutters.

Is he serious?

"I barely know you." You say softly, "I don't know anything about you. Not your full name, or what kind of person you are."

He nods in understanding, releasing your wrist and allowing you to move away. When you bring the sheets back, he stops you with his voice again.

"My name is William Asmodai Russo. I was born to Italian immigrant parents about a hundred years ago. They died when I was very young, and I became a child of the system, before I aged out. There, that's a little about me."

"H-how did you become a demon?" You ask cautiously.

His face sobers completely, and for the first time that day, he refuses to meet your eyes.

"I sold out everyone I loved and anything I ever believed in for money and power. This is my punishment." He takes a deep breath. "Goodnight, mistress, I'm right here if you need me."

He turns away from you, and you take the hint. Backing away from him as you retreat to your room. You listen to him move about in your apartment before he finally settles.

Billy can'tstop thinking aboutbeing in bed with her. His gorgeous mistress. Breathtaking and beautiful and all his. He was fuming when he was summoned, pulled from the small space in Hell he'd made his home, and forced back onto earth to serve. He'd emerged from the smoke ready to kill his summoner.

And then he'd seen you, mouth gagged, tears streaming down your face and he was even more encouraged to murder the sick fucks that'd done this.

The immense pleasure he'd gotten when he'd realised they'd made a crucial mistake. That the beautiful woman with blood coating her dress and thighs, was the person he'd been bound to.

You'd been so scared, a fragile daisy trembling at the tips of his fingers, and the urge to keep you safe had only grown.

He looks at you through the small crack in your bedroom door, watching you as you sleep, your body curled into a pillow and he knows he'd be right in that spot if you'd let him.

He knows somewhere, Frank is laughing at him, and he knows he deserves it.

Billy Russo can't help what he wants.

And right now, what he wants, is you.

[god-whispers]

feb 13

i remember many years ago when i was in a church with many strong believers.  one sunday morning the pastor was teaching about living the right kind of life and he asked the congregation, "what does character mean"?  an elder in the church answered, "that's who you are".

who you are indeed.  it's what you say and do when nobody else is watching.  so what is your behavior when "no one is watching" you?  do you remain true to your new nature or does that old nature creep in on occasion?  or maybe that "new nature" is just a pretense.  the thing is, God is always watching.

so i ask you, how do you behave when there is "no witness but God"?  what if you were absolutely guaranteed that none would ever know and there would be no consequences.  i guess i mean, do you fear God more than man and the repercussions of this world?

have you ever had someone give you the wrong change and you knew it.  would it matter whether it was fifty cents or fifty dollars or even fifty million?  is the amount a determining factor?  what is the point where you would sacrifice your character?

does it feel better to say there were only six jews killed in the holocaust instead of six million.  i wouldn't be surprised if there are more than six jews killed everyday now.  do we equate the amount with the degree of sin or is sin always sin?  and are there really "white lies"?  my bible says "all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone".  rev 21:8  and also that "the truth shall set you free".  john 8:32

lies and deception are never God's way.  Jesus said He is the truth.  and like correction, those little "white truths" may hurt for a moment but they will they will lead to THE truth.  character must be built, it is not inherited.

there are so many examples, but let me just take billy graham; considered by many to be the greatest evangelist of our time.  he was not great because he was a great man.  he was great because God made him great.  he was a simple man but he was willing and he had character.  he was who he was, no matter who was watching.

it is said he made one final post just four hours before he died.  billy graham: november 7, 1918 - february 21, 2018

   "if you went for a walk in the woods, but then decided to wander off the path, and found yourself surrounded by a thicket of thorns and poison ivy, who would you blame?  would you blame the person who built the path?  no, of course not.  instead, you’d blame yourself if you were honest, because you alone were responsible for wandering from the path.  in a far deeper way, this is what happens when we decide to leave God out of our lives.  for a time, it may seem like wandering away from Him doesn’t make any difference; it may even seem easier and freer.  but eventually, it catches up with us — just as wandering off that path and into the thicket caught up with you."

in the end, Billy Graham’s last message to the world was short and sweet: essentially, “turn back to God.”  surely, he didn’t know these would be his last words to the public, but could they be any more perfect?  it was his character.  billy graham undoubtedly knew where he was headed after death and likely was more than comfortable with the idea.  (just a side note, it is said he died at 99 years of age.  if one adds the nine months he was in the womb, it will total up to 100 years; just another sign that God considers life to begin at conception.)

we must all determine what our character is and how much we are willing to sacrifice to keep it.  the cost may be great to some of us, but so is the reward.  do not let those "little foxes" spoil your vine because that vine is Jesus.

linda

[school-in-london]

20211219 SCHOOL IN THE VAN JAPAN TOUR ~TOKYO~

■DJ: 村田タケル (School In London)

Veps / Do I Hear A Maybe?

Indigo De Souza / Die/Cry

Horsegirl / Billy

Chastity Belt / Fear

PACKS / New TV

Pixies / Where Is My Mind?

Good Morning TV / Entertainment

Big Thief / Time Escaping

Black Marble / Preoccupation

Claud / Cuff Your Jeans

The Goon Sax / In the Stone

Geese / Low Era

Pixey / Sunshine State

Cherry Glazerr / Rabbit Hole

Drug Store Romeos / Elevator

Kedr Livanskiy / Boy

■DJ: okn (IN THE VAN)

Girl Ray / This Christmas (I Wish I Were Giving You A Gift)

Cults / Spit You Out

David West / Cherry On Willow

Anika / Finger Pies

Dry Cleaning / Magic of Meghan

Public Practice / Each Other

Home Counties / Redevelopment

DIIV / Valentine

■DJ: タイラダイスケ  (School In London)

Remi Wolf / Guerrilla

Mac Miller / Blue World

Bad Sounds / Honestly

TV Girl / Hate Yourself

U.S. Girls / 4 American Dollars

Dirty Projectors / Overlord

Tame Impala / Breathe Deeper

Primal Scream / Movin’ up on

The Go! Team / Cookie Scene

Bruno Mars, Anderson .Paak & Silk Sonic / Fly As Me

88rising & BIBI / The Weekend

Edbl & Isaac Waddington / The Way Things Were

HEIZE Feat. DEAN & DJ Friz / And July

Arlo Parks / Too Good

The Avalanches Feat. MGMT & Johnny Marr / The Divine Chord

Cola Boyy / Mailbox

■DJ: KAOKERUZO (IN THE VAN)

The Nude Party / Gringo Che

The Murlocs / Bigger Picture

The Buttertones / Pistol Whip

Brimstone Howl / In the Valley

Black Mekon / Salt Liquor

Big Bill / Every City

Lucrn Raze Feat. BRYSON THE ALIEN / Super Fun Apocalypse

Dream Nails / Jillian

Ginebras / 6 AM

La Luz / Brainwash

■DJ: 村田タケル (School In London)

Personal Trainer / Muscle Memory

FUR / The Fine Line of a Quiet Life

Kiwi Jr. / Undecided Voters

Taraka / Sad Blue Eyes

Porridge Radio / Don't Ask Me Twice

Sleaford Mods / Nudge It

Nana Yamato / Do You Wanna

Famous / The Beatles

King Krule / Easy Easy (Live)

Black Country, New Road / Sunglasses

Viagra Boys / Girls & Boys

Enola Gay / Salt

Yves Tumor / Secrecy Is Incredibly Important To The Both Of Them

Rostam / Kinney

Nilüfer Yanya / stabilise

shame / 6/1

Wet Leg / Wet Dream

Yard Act / Dark Days

■DJ: okn (IN THE VAN)

HMLTD / Music!

Depeche Mode / Personal Jesus

ADULT. / Irregular Pleasure

Nine Inch Nails / Came Back Haunted

wild daughter / 55 Cancri

Jerome Feat. James Cox / Push Me Harder

Naked Roommate / Mad Love

Gel Set / In The Wall

Boy Harsher / Fate

Sydney Valette / Death Of A Comedian

Model/Actriz / Suntan

Art d'Ecco / I Am the Dance Floor

■DJ: タイラダイスケ  (School In London)

The Rapture / House Of Jealous Lovers

KONCOS / Bongo Song

Liquid Liquid / Optimo

Nirvana / Drain You

The Clash / Wrong 'Em Boyo

JERRY LEE PHANTOM / Music Lovers (※Spotify無し)

The Beach Boys / Wouldn't It Be Nice

The Monkeys / Daydream Believer

The Beatles / Penny Lane

The Lemon Twigs / The One

Whitney / The Falls

Jon Batiste / I NEED YOU

Yola / Break The Bough

Jon Batiste / I NEED YOU (Montmarte Remix)

FUR / To Be Next Her

The Libertines / Time For Heroes

The Strokes / Reptilla

DYGL / Half of Me

Dante / Ghost

Snail Mail / Ben Franklin

HAIM / Summer Girl

The Doors / Break On Through (To The Other Side)

Billy Preston / Nothing From Nothing

Har Mar Superstar / Restless Leg

Bleached / Kiss You Goodbye

Sport Team / Here’s The Thing

■DJ: KAOKERUZO (IN THE VAN)

The Sivas / My Baby Don’t

Guantanamo Baywatch / Sea Of Love

Bananagun / Bang Go the Bongos

Habibi / Call Our Own

Los Bitchos / The Link Is About To Die (※Spotify無し)

The Psychotic Sidewinders / I Left My Baby

Night Beats / One Thing

Ron Gallo / Kill The Medicine Man

Death Valley Girls / Breakthrough

THE BOBBY LEES / Coin

The Darts(U.S) / I Made A Wish

The Regrettes / I Dare You

Bleached / Real Life

Lauran Hibberd / Charlie's Car

Ten Tonnes / G.I.V.E.

The Weeks / Brother In The Night

Vista Kicks & Audra Mae / While We Still Have The Time

■Ending Snail Mail / Valentine Porridge Radio / The Last Time I Saw You (O Christmas) ■Spotify

[iugesorbust]

Through Fire, Nature is Reborn (Ch 1)

A Wiccan/Hulkling Fan-Fiction

Billy investigates his convoluted origin, and learns that some things are best left unknown. CW: body horror 

“Is it me, or is your magic looking a little purple?” 

 “Purple?” 

 Billy and Teddy, former teen super-heroes, currently super-powered theater bums with a way-too-nice apartment in midtown, were eating takeout curry sprawled on their floor. Billy had just spilled a few drops of bright red sauce onto the carpet and had magicked it away. 

 “Yeah, purple-ish,” Teddy repeated, shoveling another curry-laden piece of naan into his mouth.

 “What color is it normally?”

 “Blue. It’s usually a pale blue.“ 

“Huh.” Billy was silent was a long minute. Teddy began to wonder if what he’d said had somehow upset his boyfriend. 

“What color is the Scarlet Witch’s magic to you?" 

“Red. Or I suppose, scarlet.” Teddy shifted to a sitting position. "I’m confused, do you not see any of this when you’re casting magic?" 

“Not really." 

“What does it look like to you?” “Um. Well, it’s kind of like a ripple in reality when I use magic. When the Scarlet Witch uses it, it looks like…probability changing? It’s kind of hard to describe. And then when Magik or Dr. Strange uses a spell, it looks like a pattern.“ 

“A pattern?" 

Billy nodded slowly. He silently spooned more curry into his mouth. 

“Look, it’s not a big deal, your magic’s color. Let’s change the topic.” There was no telling what could set off his boyfriend’s moods. He was always supportive, but even after dating since high school, Billy’s mind could be a minefield of emotion, and the intricacies of his magical abilities was always a touchy subject. 

 “What did you think of the final performance of “Wiccan”?” He asked, referring to the closing of their Off-Broadway show parodying the show Wicked, but with superheroes instead of the Wizard of Oz. It did ok. Critics were enthusiastic if a bit confused. 

 “Teddy, I think I should find out where my magic comes from.” Billy must have read the look of concern and confusion on his face, as he continued with a comforting smile. “I’m fine, really. But I think it’s time I decide what I am. Mutant? Personification of reality? Just a really strong wish?” He chuckled with the last one. 

“That’s not funny.“ 

“What’s not funny?" 

“When Loki convinced me that you had wished me into existence, it made me doubt everything. It’s not something you can joke about." 

Billy frowned. “Calm down, Space King. I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about me. I really am a wish made real.” 

 Teddy took a sip from his beer, mentally wincing at his misreading of the situation, and smirked, “I wonder if there’s anyone with powers that doesn’t have a convoluted backstory. You and Tommy, though, that’s hard to beat.”

 Billy scraped the last of his meal from the takeout container. “Yeah. The Scarlet Witch magicked us, me and Tommy…” 

He set down his things and put his hands in his lab. “Well she magicked a Billy and a Tommy…into existence." 

“Right." 

“It would be nice to know some more details." 

Teddy picked up all the empty containers, then walked to the sink to rinse and add to the recycling.  

“Aw thanks. I could have done that.” Billy said absent-mindedly. 

 He turned the tap on hot and felt the sting of heat on the tips of his fingers. Reflexively, his hands became green and scaly. Something was bothering Billy, and he wasn’t saying. There was a twisting in Teddy’s stomach.   

 That night, they made love, too quickly and without the dizzying passion that Teddy expected from Billy. They cleaned themselves off, and lay half-asleep facing each other, hands resting on top of the others’. Teddy broke the silence. “So, why does it matter where your magic comes from?” 

 “It matters because it could be important to who I am, what I can do, how I evolve as a magic-user. Think how important it was to learn your heritage." 

“Yeah, huge relief to learn that I’m Dorrek the Eighth, heir to both the Skrull and Kree Empires and now, somehow, also another kind of space king." 

“The prophesied scion of the legendary Kree-Skrull hybrid kings and inheritor of Excelsior, magical sword of the Knights of the Infinite." 

“Yeah, that.” He couldn’t help but smile. Then he remembered where he was going with his warning. “What I’m trying to say, Billy, is that there’s no guarantee that learning this new thing about yourself will help you in any way, and with our luck, digging around will only get you or someone else hurt." 

“I just want closure. To understand a little more about what or who I am.” “I understand, just be careful.“ 

 Billy sighed, loudly, and rolled away.  "I’m just going to ask the Scarlet Witch, maybe Dr. Strange. I have bits and pieces of information, but I want to know the whole story, even if its dark and upsetting.”   Teddy took the opportunity to drape his arm over his boyfriend and pull him closer. 

 “I know.“ 

“Goodnight. I love you." 

“Love you, too. Goodnight." 

    Billy dreamt he was at a party, a crowded apartment with too many people and loud music. It was his birthday, he remembered. He squeezed through the crowd of people he didn’t recognize, moving from room to room in a house he didn’t know. He began to overheat, the house was becoming hellishly hot, but no one else seemed to care. He entered a bedroom at the end of a hall, and the sounds of the party ceased. In the hot gloom, he saw his mother,  the Scarlet Witch, sitting on the bed, long brown hair covering her face. She’s waiting for me, Billy thought. He sat down at the end of the bed and waited. The Scarlet Witch crawled over and lay a long-nailed hand on his bare back. Her nail began to prick at his skin, like a good scratching feeling. Then she was scratching the inside of his chest. Dark blood dripped from his breast, and looking down he saw that she had scratched through an upside-down pentagram onto his pectorals. There was a knock on the door. A little boy peaked in. He had dark brown hair and hazel eyes, he looked just like Billy when he was really little. The little Billy ran to him and jumped on him, knees on his stomach, and began pulling at the broken skin on his chest. For some reason, this was the scariest part. Billy’s heart raced, trying to push him off, but he couldn’t move.  The Scarlet Witch was holding his arms. The skin of his chest was being picked away to reveal a hollow filled with red flames. The little boy’s arms caught fire, but he still kept clawing, his prepubescent face scrunched up in frustrated concentration. Billy was afraid, but now hot anger also grew within him. He’s trying to take it, he thought. It’s mine, he can’t have it.  He opened his mouth to yell, but flames spilled from his lips instead. The little boy went for his throat, pushing as hard as he could on his trachea. Billy gasped for fresh air, but the room was filling with black smoke and brimstone. Still the little boy that was Billy pressed down on his throat, firelight reflecting in his big, brown eyes.     

Billy awoke from the dream, panting and still unable to move. He sucked in air. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a tall, reddish-black figure fade into mist. When the panic cleared from his mind, he checked on Teddy, who still softly snoring. Nightmares were nothing knew to Billy. What was strange was how familiar the dream had been. It was a dream similar to one he had dreamt years before, back when the Young Avengers had just started, back when he and Teddy had only just started to know each other. He was at his birthday party, and in the dream he was eight or nine years old. The Scarlet Witch stood talking to another parent, and behind her stood Mephisto, demon-lord of Hell.    

Thirty minutes later, he still couldn’t fall back to sleep. He grabbed his laptop and began to pull up any information he could find on Mephisto. The fact that his birth was tied to the demon was already something he knew. The twins born to Wanda Maximoff and the Vision were fragments of the Mephisto made human, purified by love, and rendered immiscible with Mephisto’s whole when he tried to revert the infants back into himself. After that, somehow, the souls became Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd, even though the timeline didn’t really line up. That was one of the mysteries Billy wanted to have answered. The internet wasn’t giving him anything he didn’t already know.     

“Billy, it’s like 5am.” Teddy murmured and rubbed his eyes.       

“Go back to sleep, T.”    

 “Why are you awake? You need to sleep too.“     

“I had a nightmare.”     

Teddy cleared his throat, took a sip of water, and sat up. “Tell me about your nightmare.“     

“It’s fine, really.”     

“I don’t know much about magic, but I’m your boyfriend. I want to be there for you, and you can’t keep shutting me out.“     

“Fine.” Billy told him what he remembered about the dream. He ended by describing the sensation of being choked and the shadowy figure that appeared when he opened his eyes.    

 Teddy looked concerned, but not frightened. “You had sleep paralysis.”    

 “What?”    

 “I’ve not had it, but I read about it in one of my mom’s books. You had textbook sleep paralysis.“   

  Billy shook his head, and started to protest, but Teddy interrupted him with the list of symptoms.     

“Feelings of pressure on your chest and inability to breath, tingling sensations, inability to move, and even an evil shadowy figure in the corner of your eye. Textbook sleep paralysis.”     

Teddy bent over and kissed his forehead. “You’re an incredible mage, but you’re also human. Try not to fall asleep on your back.“    

Billy huffed and buried his head in his pillow. He turned and grinned.     

“You’re incredible and I don’t deserve you.”     

“You’re a bit of a drama llama, but I love you too.” 

Teddy peeled off his shirt, revealing his thick muscular torso.    

 “Are we going to have sex now?“    

 “Ha, I’m going for a run. You’re welcome to join me.”     

Billy whimpered and grabbed for Teddy’s chest.     

“Run, and then sex?” Billy asked.     

“Sure, I’m glad the nightmare hasn’t affected you too much, or at least not your libido.“ 

To be continued